


A chance to see the youth

by sorciererouge



Series: Broken bouquet of white periwinkles [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hanamura and Twogami are mentioned, Happens after chapter 1, Komaeda's hair wasn't orignally white headcanon, talk about suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8545951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorciererouge/pseuds/sorciererouge
Summary: Due to a glitch Nagito Komaeda's avatar became his 8 years old self. Adjusting to the new situation while having to face the fact that he was once rather normal child isn't easy.
Neither is dealing with the increased need for medical attention as they form a bond with him.
 
/Former title: Adventures of little Komaeda.





	1. Blue periwinkles

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a tumblr user greenwaves31's Baby Komaeda Au.
> 
> Anyway this hasn't been beta-read. If you're willing to do that please message me.
> 
> Without further rambling. Enjoy!

Nagito couldn’t remember falling to sleep. That itself wasn’t weird, it happened when he was really tired. It always felt a bit weird but it actually wasn’t. However waking up to the sound of waves and a bright sunlight wasn’t normal. He blinked rapidly. Maybe he was still asleep? Or maybe this was the surprise his parents told him about? A beach vacation. Yeah, maybe he was still sleepy and couldn’t remember the drive. But….he should be sleeping in a hotel room then? No, this couldn’t be his parents doing. So maybe he was kidnapped? Dad had told him that his mom’s family had money and their family line was a old one. And that meant that someone might use him to get money. Well, he wasn’t tied up at least. So he should probably stop laying on the ground and look for a police officer or something. So he rose up slowly, wiping the sand off his sweaty hands. Nagito looked around the beach. There was the ocean that seemed to go on forever. The bright blue sky with no clouds in sight, the warm sand that would be perfect for building sand castles. And the tropical looking trees. He couldn’t remember if there were any palm trees in Japan though. Maybe? He could look that up later. There was also a came and a monitor near a palm tree. That wasn’t exactly normal. He walked up to the camera first. It seemed to be on. So someone was watching the beach through it? And the monitor next to the camera seemed to be in a working order but not on. Nagito couldn’t really figure out what to make of these two weird objects and his wondering was halted by a loud, booming voice in a distance. 

”Hey kid!” The owner of the voice sprinted towards him. Nagito let out a small noise and braced himself for an attack. A person who yelled like that and started running couldn’t be good!

”What are you doing in a place like this! Are your parents here?” The stranger didn’t touch him but talked to him. Well he seemed to be talking in a really loud voice that made him wince. He didn’t like loud noises at all. The stranger might’ve noticed his dislike for the volume from the wincing, or the fact that he still had his eyes squeezed shut.

”Are you lost?” The question came with a more controlled volume. Nagito nodded and slowly opened his eyes. The man was muscular and huge. He raditated a sort of a powerful energy yet seemed a bit harmless. And his oufit looked like it came straight from a game. 

”Are you an actor?” That would explaing the camera at least. The stranger looked a bit surprised, before throwing his head back and laughing.

”No no! I’m the Ultimate team manager Nekomaru Nidai!” 

An ultimate team manager? So…a student from that school? Somehow the confusing situtation got even more confusing.

”Um…mister. I don’t know where my parents are. I don’t know where I am either but if I could maybe find a police officer I could get their number and they could come and get me.”, Nagito rambled a bit shyly. This person could probably throw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes but he didn’t seem bad. Loud and weird but not like a person who would throw him in a locked room and leave there. But he looked uncomfortable with what he had just said.

”I see! Well I could take you to the Hotel restaraunt for now. You look like you could use some water!” Nidai stated and started walking. ”Follow me!”

Nagito blinked and obeyed. He was thirsty and the idea of a cool restaraunt was appealing. He felt over heated due to wearing a hoodie.

 

Nagito was strenched in sweat by the time they arrived to the hotel area. He stared the pool for a long time. It would be nice to cool down in there but it might also end up making him sick. It happened almost everytime he used a pool. He sighed and followed Nidai until the other had stopped and kept the hotel door open. Nagito walked in, mumbling a small ’Thank you’. The moment the cool air hit his face he sighed in relief. The lobby looked normal. There was an arcade machine too. It might be fun to play a bit after he got something to drink. He started to walk up the stair a bit slower than usual. He felt exhausted already. Maybe it was because of this that he couldn’t register the voices coming from the restaraunt.

When Nagito finally had managed to climb the stairs he wanted to climb back down immediately. There were other people who had been eating a moment ago but were now staring at him. When one of the people, a red head with a camera rose and walked towards him he took a step back. The girl stopped and some of the other students who had risen up stopped too. 

”Hey are you lost?” Nagito swallowed and shook his head. ”How did you end up in here?” The girl asked. The others were listening, if their expressions were anything to go by. ”Nidai-san brought me here. He stayed downstairs. Well I think he did?” He didn’t follow Nagito up but he might’ve left the building. 

”I see. Then how did you end up on this island?” Nagito opened his mouth, then closed it. He still didn’t know that. ”I woke up on the beach.”, somehow he felt like the girl might scold him for not knowing the answer. She didn’t scold him but she looked a bit alarmed. ”Then…what’s your name? My name is Mahiru Koizumi.”, the girl, Koizumi asked. Nagito swallowed some saliva and straightened his back. ”I’m Nagito Komae…da.”, his voice wavered. Everyone in the restaraunt looked at him with a weirded out expression. No one said anything. Maybe they were a terrorist group or something and now that they knew who he was they would kidnap him? 

”Whaat! Was Nagito-chan turned in to a kid or something? Is this a glitch in the matrix?” A girl with a weird hair yelled out, looking weirded out. ”Ibuki doesn’t understand at all!” So her first name was Ibuki? After her outburst everyone else stopped being silent and started to talk to each other. Nagito couldn’t really make out everything but he knew that they were talking about him. And they mentioned something about being turned in to a kid. Which was just weird because he was still eight and not five or something. 

”Everyone! Please calm down. This situtation may be weird but before we take any action we must gather everyone in here.”, a regal looking blonde said with a voice that made Nagito want to calm himself down. She seemed like a princess.

”A-and….he looks tired and thirsty. S-someone should take him to rest…”, a black haired girl stuttered. Next to her an another kid made a disgusted expression. ”Nobody asked your opinion pig!” The other girl squeked out apologizies and burst in to tears.

”Yes I quite agree with you Tsumiki-san. Hinata-san please take Komaeda-kun to your cottage for the time being! And please gather the rest here after that.” Ah…she was using that voice again. Somehow Nagito felt a bit bad to who ever this Hinata person was. A boy with a white shirt, a tie and a weird hair style walked over to him with a water bottle in his hand. Without saying a word he gave it to Nagito and started to walk down the stairs, muttering something about how impossible the situtation was. Nagito blinked and ran after him, holding the water bottle close. 

Downstairs Hinata was talking to a girl who was playing with the arcade machine. ”Nanami you should head up. Something happened, the others will explain it.” Nanami hmm’ed and continued playing. Hinata just sighed and told him to follow him.

The walk to Hinata’s cabin was awkward. Neither said anything and Nagito stared at the water bottle in his hands. He wanted to drink it but if he opened it now it would probably fall from his grasp. Hinata coughed a bit and Nagito looked up. They had stopped already and Hinata was keeping the door to his cabin open for him. Nagito walked in with careful steps. If something were to happen now…he’d be trapped. 

”Anyway…I’ll get going now.” Hinata said and hurried off so fast that Nagito didn’t have the time to thank him. Well he could do that later. For now he just observed the room. It was very normal looking, except for the weird looking bear plushes. Nagito opened the water bottle and started to drink it fast. He drunk it half empty before setting it down and sitting next to it on the floor. He should wait for Hinata to come back before doing anything else. This wasn’t his room after all. And he wanted to thank him too.

With those thoughts, Nagito closed his eyes.


	2. Sycamore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata was confused. But that's not new anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might've ignored sleep and started writing this. And then finished this chapter too.
> 
> Mostly because I got motivated by the positive feedback.

Hinata was confused. He had been confused since the day he got on this island but for some reason this was the cherry on the top. Waking up on a deserted island when he was supposed to be in Hope’s peak and having a rabbit plush as a teacher? Yeah okay. Having another bear plush tell them to kill each other to be able to leave and tell them that they were missing their memories. Messed up but he could handle that. Having two of their classmates die and being betrayed by someone who he trusted? Painful among with other emotions. Finding a child that claims to be that person? No, Hinata was done. He had to draw the line somewhere and de-aging was where he drew it. So there had to be another way to explain the strange child in his cottage.

Hinata still had to find Tanaka, Nidai, Owari, Souda, Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu. Or find the others and ask Pekoyama to get Kuzuryuu. She seemed to have more luck when dealing with him. 

 

Tanaka was easy to find. He was in his cottage and after telling him to go to the restraunt now and that the others would explain he gave a speech about…something and left.

Pekoyama wasn’t that hard to find either, she was in the beach in the second island. Hinata just didn’t feel comfortable going near her when she was doing a sequence of fast strikes with her shinai. So he waited until she stopped to walk close enough for her to notice him. 

”Something urgent came up. The others are waiting at the restaraunt.”

”I see.”, Pekoyama said and adjusted her glasses. ”I’ll be going then.”

Shit, he still had to ask her about Kuzuryuu. ”Hey, would you mind getting Kuzuryuu before you go there? It’d be a big help.”, to not deal with a possibly angry yakuza. He might be an alright guy if he didn’t threaten to kill them. 

Pekoyama nodded and started walking away. Hinata did the same and started heading towards the hotel area. That kid said that Nidai brought him to the restaraunt so maybe he was around there? And if Nidai wasn’t there then Owari might be somewhere near. Souda could be anywhere but he might also be in the hotel area now that Tanaka was headed over the same place where Sonia was. 

He almost felt like he was observing animal behaviour patterns when he thought about his classmates like that.

 

Hinata arrived at the hotel area just in time to see a very panicked looking Nidai and Souda running out from the old lodge with a clueless looking Owari behind them. He almost ran after them to direct them to the restaraunt but it seemed like they were already heading there so he just jogged behind them. Hopefully Pekoyama had gotten Kuzuryuu to come. Otherwise if he suddenly saw a kid on the island who knows what could happen?  
By the time he reached the restaraunt stairs the others had already ran up there and he could hear Nidai shouting about something. Hinata took a deep breathe and hurrier up to hear what the commotion was about now.

”-tied him up but he wasn’t there anymore!” Nidai shouted. Who was tied up? ”And now there is a child on this island while he is running free!”

”About that..”, Koizumi started, before straightening her back and pointing at Nidai accusingly. ”I understand why you did it but it could’ve caused more trouble on the long run. Bu that’s not the point. The point is that the child you met claimed to be Nagito Komaeda. And he’s in Hinata’s cottage right now.”

So Nidai tied up Komaeda? And now he wasn’t tied up anymore for some reason? Weird. Hinata wasn’t ignoring the implications of that. Not at all.

”What!” The question came from most of the newcomers. Hinata sighed mentally, this converstation was bound to be noisy as ever. ”That’s not possible! No one can just turn in to a kid!” Souda yelled, looking outraged. 

”They share no resemblance! That child has auburn hair and Komaeda has white!” Nida yelled. Somehow he seemed worried. It might have something to do with the fact that what he did would instantly become messed up if the kid really was Komaeda.

”Oh oh Ibuki knows! Nagito-chan could’ve used bleach! Kazuichi-chan’s hair is dyed to it’s not weird!” It made sense but somehow Hinata couldn’t imagine Komaeda bleaching his hair. Not to mention… ”But his hair ends are more brown than the rest. Wouldn’t it make sense if his roots were darker?” Hinata wondered. 

”I-it’s possible that early greying runs in his family.”, Tsumiki offered timidly. ”It might explain the paleness too…?”

Right there was that too. When he compared the kid and the Komaeda he had know it really seemed like the other had had the pigment sucked out of him. It was kinda worrying.

”Hey the hair isn’t important! It’s the behaviour obviously!” Souda yelled. He had a point. 

”He didn’t exactly behave like Komaeda-san. I’d even say he was rather normal.”, Sonia stated. Souda blinked a bit. ”That’s how he acted before and look at what happened! Hey Hinata you should be careful when you go back. He might’ve laid traps in there!”

”Puhuhuhu! That would be a twist. A young child creating traps to kill adults. And there are so many ways! Poison in food, poison gas or maybe a electric shock? My heart is throbbing at the idea!” 

Once again Monokuma appeared out of nowhere, spouting nonsense. 

”Hey! This is your doing then isn’t it?” Souda yelled. Hinata sighed out loud this time. Of course it would be.

”Not mine but Monomi’s. She’s such a bad girl and had to be punished for doing something to cliche as de-aging.”, Monokuma said….blushing and sweating. Hinata shivered, there were way too many things wrong with that sentence.

”What foolishness are you spouting bear? Has the rabbit cast a spell on the grey one?” Tanaka asked, somehow managing to voice everyones question. 

”If that’s how you want to think it then yes. But the undeniable fact is that the kid is Nagito Komaeda, eight years old. He lacks the memories of his older self too so he should be easy to kill.” Hinata paled. The kid was actually Komaeda and…kill him?

”Don’t fuck with me!” Kuzuryuu yelled and looked startled at his own words. Hinata filed that reaction for later. 

”No one gonna kill a child! I won’t allow it or my name isn’t Nekomaru Nidai!”

The others joined the yelling about how wrong it was to kill a child. It seemed like the identity didn’t matter because it was just wrong. Monokuma had somewhat united them and by the looks of it he hadn’t meant that to happen.

”Well well. Solve this alone then.”, Monokuma said hastly and disappeared. 

They were still fuming a bit but it seemed like everyone had just accepted the weirdness. And why wouldn’t they? After all this was their life now. Hinata yawned a bit. He should probably head back soon but first they had to do some plans.

”Hey should we plan on who takes care of him?” He asked, mostly because he just wanted this to be over with.

”Hinata-san is right. One person shouldn’t have to spend all their time on babysitting so I propose that everyone has a turn. But more importantly Hinata-san. I offically apoint your cottage as the place where he sleeps.”, Sonia listed. Hinata’s first instinct was to ask ’Why me?’ but the tone of her voice made his objections disappear. ”It’s because he’s already there and familiar with it right?” He asked, sounding even more tired than before. 

”Exactly. But naturally that means that you’re free of the mandatory babysitting. Please leave the rest to us and go rest.” 

Hinata mumbled a small thanks, ignored Souda’s staring and started heading towards his cottage. He felt like he was sleepwalking almost.

 

By the time he reached his cottage he might’ve actually been sleepwalking. Hinata shook himself more awake. He couldn’t be too sure about what kind of person Komaeda was as a child after all. Cautiously he opened the door and peeked in. The light’s were on and he could see Komaeda’s tiny form laying on the floor. Caution flew out of the window as he threw the door open and walked towards the body child with fast steps. He was just sleeping…just sleeping on the floor. Hinata let out a long breathe. Why had he been worried? Was he so on edge about everything that had happened that he ignored logic?  
”Hinata-san?” A small sleepy voice mumbled. Komaeda cracked his eyes open a bit, looking at him for a moment before closing them again. ”Thank you..”

Hinata couldn’t help but to smile shakily as he lifted him up and laid on the bed. Maybe he had a chance to understand who Nagito Komaeda was. But before that he needed to sleep.

The days would be more energy consuming from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on uploading at least one chapter every sunday. Well my sunday anyway. I'd prefer not to tie myself with deadlines and certain days because that doesn't exactly work for me. And my schedule is horrible anyway.
> 
> Also fun fact! The strike sequence I imagined Pekoyama is doing is kirikaeshi! There should be a lot more noise but I can't imagine her yelling.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Aloe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka gets to feel the joys of babysitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gundam's lines are a pain in the ass to write. So he is very likely ooc.
> 
> But here you go!

Hinata opened his eyes with a groan as the morning announcement rang. It was ten times worse to wake up from that than waking up due to an alarm clock. He tried to move his arm to rub his eyes but there was something holding it close. ”Huh?” Something was hugging him? Hinata moved his head to the side slowly before he saw the culprit. A child. His classmate as a child. Nagito Komaeda as a child. Hinata groaned again. ”Too early for this.” The small bundle moved as a response to his words, mumbling tired nonsense as he tightened the hug. 

”Hey…wake up.”, Hinata said with a bit hushed tone. Honestly if he ignored his identity for a bit this scene was really adorable. ”Nooo. I wanna sleep. Yoshi doesn’t mind.”, Komaeda mumbled, scrunching his eyes closed. Hinata sighed and wiggled his hand a bit. ”You have to wake up.”, Hinata moved his hand until it was free from Komaeda’s grasp. At the same time Komaeda opened his eyes and stared at his face for a long time. And then- ”Aaaah!” he screamed and rolled of the bed ungracefully. 

Hinata rose up fast and leaned over a bit to see Komaeda sprawled on the floor, holding his head with his hands. ”Whoa! Are you alright?” Hinata asked fast. What kind of reaction was that?  
”Owww my head…”, Komaeda muttered as he rubbed his head, messing up the already messy curls even more. ”Ah…Hinata-san right?” He questioned and glanced over to him before looking down, blushing. He was probably embarrassed. ”Yeah. I’m Hajime Hinata.” 

”Ah right yesterday was weird so I’m here now. I forgot.”, Komaeda said simply and stopped rubbing his head. ”Hey is your head alright?” Hinata asked again. It might be a good idea to ask Tsumiki to check it later if he had time. ”It’s fine. I fall from my bed a lot because Yoshi is so big.”, Komaeda stated. Well he looked fine. ”Yoshi?” 

”Yeah she’s my…She was…”, the other stayed silent for a moment, looking down. Somehow Hinata got the idea that this wasn’t a happy topic. ”Well it’s alright now!” Komaeda looked up at him with a smile. A smile that he had seen before. A smile that somehow didn’t feel right anymore. ”Hinata-san were you able to contact my parents?” 

Hinata blinked, once, twice, rapidly in the span of few seconds. They had forgot to create a cover story. He couldn’t just tell him ’Oh yeah we’re trapped here. And even better: We have to kill each other by the orders of a weird bear thing. And there is also a rabbit. Oh and your older version kinda pushed the killing to start.’ That would probably traumatize the kid and who knows if these kinds of things carried over to the older version. He couldn’t be responsible for messing up Komaeda even more. 

”Yes we managed to contact them somewhat. Due to this island being closed off for our school trip it’s going to take a while for them to get here but they’ll come as soon as possible.”, he explained, trying to create a simple yet believable story.  
Komaeda looked at him for a moment before nodding. ”You’re on a school trip?”  
Hinata let out a huge sigh mentally. Thank god. ”Yeah. We’re freshman at Hope’s peak academy so the school trip is quite abnormal like this.” 

Komaeda nodded again. Judging by the look on his face he believed him even more. ”Mom said that if Hope’s peak is involved things tend to be really weird you know? I don’t really get it. I mean in the end it’s just a school for people who are really good at something?” 

Hinata stared at him with a curious look. So he didn’t care about that stuff as a kid? Ah, he was staring again. ” Anyway we planned that everyone will spend time with you. So that you wont be bored while waiting you know? I don’t know whose going to come today. But you don’t really have to worry I guess, they’re all a bit weird but not bad.” Hinata explained and gave a small cough at the end. ’Well, there are few exceptions to that.’

The two of them stayed silent for a while. Mostly because Komaeda seemed to have lost the energy from the earlier outburst.

Their silence was interupted by a loud knock. Hinata rose up and moved to open the door. Komaeda seemed to have shaken himself awake again and looked at door. He opened the door and moved to the side fast as Tanaka came in with showy steps. ”I have arrived small mortal! Today you shall spend time with me and learn the ways of the Tanaka Empire!” The hamsters jumped out and assumed a pose? No they just did a pre-learned trick. Definitely that.

Hinata glanced over to Komaeda to check if he was fine. Tanaka’s personality wasn’t something you understood at the first glance after all. But it seemed like Komaeda didn’t care, instead his eyes were glued to the hamsters. Hinata could swear he saw starts him them.

”Come! Let us proceed walk to the other realm for now!” And with those words, Tanaka was off and Komaeda ran after him with quick steps. His face still having that starry eyes look on it.

Hinata gave a small laugh at the absurd situtation. ”He really is just a kid huh?”

 

 

”Umm…I don’t know your name?” Nagito questioned after they had arrived in the Jabberwock park. He wanted to ask about it earlier but the hamster were cute and kept looking at him. So he looked back and ended up having a staring contest with the hamsters. 

”You want to know my name? Such boldness shall be rewarded. Call me Gundam Tanaka. Remember it well, for it is the name that will one day rule this world!” Hamster-san boasted and did a cool looking pose. Nagito stared him in confusion before speaking up. ”Tanaka-san? How about the hamsters names?” He was probably going to miss most of what he was going to say. 

”They’re not mere hamster they’re the Four Dark Devas of Destruction! Supernova Silver Fox San-D! Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P! Crimson Steel Elephant Maga-Z! Invading Black Dragon Cham-P!” Tanaka yelled, the hamsters jumping out of the scarf one by one when their name was called.

He was right. He had no idea about what Tanaka just said. At all. Nagito didn’t even understand which part of all that was a name. But he wasn’t going to ask again. 

”Small mortal! Have you made a pact with a creature?” Tanaka asked. Nagito tilted his head and gave a small humm as a response while he was figuring out what he was asked. A pact with a creature? So…a pet? ”Oh.”, that was the only sound that he could make before Nagito felt tears gather in his eyes. Somehow in the confusion of the situtation he had managed to forget her just for a little while. It was far more painful to realize that he forgot than the constant ache he felt for the past weeks. He shouldn’t be allowed to forget right? He should always remember her because bad people who did bad things didn’t deserve to forget. That’s what everyone says in the books, news and in school. And he didn’t want to forget her. Yoshi was always there. He was so lonely without her.

 

”What’s wrong tiny human?” 

The question broke something in him. Nagito let out a small sob as he let himself fall on the ground. By now Yoshi would be panicking and licking him and he would bury his face in her fur for comfort. But she couldn’t do that anymore. ”I miss her.”, he gasped between the sobs. ”I miss her fur, I miss playing with her! I wanna sleep next to her again! Even if she takes a lot of space.” He rubbed his face to his sleeves. Mom would scold him for getting snot on his clothes but she’d pet his hair too and comfort him. But mom wasn’t here yet either and he was all alone.

Suddenly something soft was placed on his lap. And soon that something crawled up to his shoulder and started to pull his hair. 

”Huh?” Nagito wiped his eyes and moved his finger to poke the thing that was eating his hair. It was so soft and fat. ”A hamster?”

”Yes it seems like Cham-p has sensed your distress little one. Be aware that such act is a blessing by one of the Dark devas of destruction.”, Tanaka had sat next to him at some point. 

”As the Ultimate breeder I have lost many familiars for many reasons. But one must not be blinded by grief. Otherwise even the shortest time spend together with your familiar will be tainted by darkness. One must move on with the knowledge that you’ve offered them the best and be thankful for the love that these creatures give. Based on what you’ve told the mighty beast was happy with her life.”

Nagito looked at Tanaka slightly. He seemed kinda sad too. But still…  
”It was my fault. She stood in front of me and a car came. It has to me fault. Bad things happen when I’m happy.”

Nagito drew his knees close and buried his face in there. Everyone else was relieved and called him lucky for not being hit too. But what part of that was lucky? His only friend was dead. 

”Have you thought that the hell hound could be upset if you continued blaming yourself for something that you couldn’t control? And for not celebrating the life she lived? Death is unavoidable and there will be time when you shall walk with your lady again. But until that day you must move forward so you can take your place next to her with grace!” Tanaka’s voice has a more scolding quality to it while still maintaining the usual flashy voice. 

”But I can’t forget her.”

”And you shouldn’t! Always remember the good times. I can still remember the day I found my first familiar. A feisty silver feline who had a taste for my cursed blood at the start. Until I of course lifted the curse from her slowly. His time in this realm was short and his journey was certainly filled with struggles but those are not as important as the small joys of good food and warmth of a bed.”

”Why was she cursed?” Nagito asked with a sniff. He kinda wanted to drown himself in a story now. To imagine something else for a small moment was fine right?

”You see…”

 

 

By the time the two of them returned Nagito was calm. He felt better after listening hours worth of stories about Tanaka’s pets. And in return he managed to tell some about Yoshi. And somehow it helped. It still hurt but something felt a bit lighter.

Although Nagito was also tired. His eyes drooped a bit as he walked behind Tanaka. Who kept glancing back at him every now and then. 

”Ah Komaeda your back.”, he could hear Hinata’s voice greeting him. So they were already at the cottage. He didn’t even notice. He just wanted to fall on the bed and sleep. Nagito trudged inside the cottage from the open door and turned towards Tanaka who was still standing in the doorway. He should say bye to Tanaka and the hamsters  
”Bye hamsters-niisan.”, and after saying that he promptly collapsed on the bed, ignoring the spluttering Tanaka and laughing Hinata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c 
> 
>  
> 
> Were not gonna have offical update days. This week I had lots of free time and I wasn't tired at all but next week is booked full so I might be able to write one chapter. 
> 
> But for something that was so hard to write for me for many reasons I'm okay with this result.


	4. Rosebay Rhododendron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The swimming lesson of the school trip of mutual killing begins.

Nagito stared the pool with an excited look. He had finished putting on a lot of sun screen, provided to him by Hinata. It was a lucky thing that Hinata got him some since he burned easily in the sun. He really wanted to jump in to the pool and enjoy the water. But he should wait for Nidai and Owari before he did that. Even if pools were safe and there wasn’t a chance that a big wave would try to wash him away like that one time, he wasn’t comfortable with the risk. And pools didn’t have scary fish. Unless a huge sea monster suddenly broke the bottom and ate him whole. But monsters weren’t real and the pool water wasn’t suitable for sea creatures. Probably.

”Sorry to keep you waiting!” Nidai’s voice greeted him from afar. It wasn’t as loud as he had heard him speak usually. Nagito felt like there was some reason for that but he couldn’t really put his finger to it. Maybe he had to take it easy sometimes after being loud all the time? Nagito waved his hand as a greeting, wondering where Owari was. It was possible that she had canceled. His questioning was soon interrupted by a loud yell as something ran towards the pool and jumped in with a huge splash. Nagito yelped as the water wet him completely, wondering if a sea monster had actually arrived. 

”The water is great! You gonna jump in or just sit there Naegi?”

Or maybe the sea monster was actually the person called Owari. Or maybe Owari was actually a sea monster? More importantly.

”It’s Nagito…”, he stated. It was nice of Hinata to warn him that Owari didn’t remember names well. He was a bit surprised that she referred him with his first name rather than his last name. But he didn’t really mind.

”Sorry. They’re kinda the same y’know?” Owari said, pushing her hair back. ”Anyway jump in kid. I’ll race you!”

Owari had an intense aura. If he raced her…he would lose without a doubt. Nidai laughed on the other side. He didn’t look like he was going to enter the pool. But he was a team manager so maybe the side lines were his thing?

Nagito shrugged and jumped in, the cool water making him feel refreshed immediately. He swam slowly towards Owari, who was floating on her back. He wasn’t really a good swimmer but not a bad one either. He joined Owari, starting to float next to her. ”This is nice. It’s been a while since I last visited a pool.”

”Then we’ll use this chance to better your swimming! Owari this is good training for you too!” Nidai yelled suddenly. Owari was ready in a blink of an eye, as if she had just been waiting for the right moment. 

”Uh…”, He could feel sweat drops form on his forehead.

Maybe it wasn’t going to be a relaxing after all.

-

Hinata looked up at the orange sky. The sun was setting and soon it was going to be dark. He felt drained already but he still had things to do until he could rest. After waking up early to get Komaeda some sunscreen and a swimsuit ready and making sure he got to the pool safely he went to visit Tanaka. He needed to tell him the story they were using to keep Komaeda in the dark. He had already told everyone else while Tanaka was spending time with Komaeda. And he also wanted to know what they were doing. 

Well after he heard that he couldn’t help but to wonder. Komaeda went from a kid who was truly upset about death to a person who saw death as a ’stepping stone for hope’. Hinata couldn’t understand why or how his view was twisted to that extend but…it couldn’t be a result of anything good. Then again he had apparently been almost hit by a car, witnessed his dog die in front of him and blamed himself for it all in one go. For someone who was called an Ultimate lucky student he seemed to have more bad luck than good. Even the…twisted plan of his hadn’t really went the way he wanted it to right? 

Hinata shook himself away from those thoughts. It was better to try and distance himself from the image of older Komaeda for now. Instead he chose to remind himself to not mention that one of Tanaka’s hamster injured it’s paw to Komaeda. By Tanaka’s words ”The little one would try and carry the burden on himself.” Which was easy enough to understand. Don’t tell Komaeda because he’ll get upset and blame himself for some reason.

Hinata arrived at the pool. The surrounding area was wet everywhere, as if the water had been splashed around everywhere. But since Owari and Nidai were involved it defiantly was realistic. But he couldn’t help but to worry about what kind of shape Komaeda was. 

”Hinata-san!” Speaking of which. Komaeda ran on to him and latched on to his legs. His eyes were sparkling behind the wet hair and he was grinning happily. ”I won against Owari-san!” He exclaimed and shook his head to get the hair away from his eyes. ”She won always at first. But then I started to swim like Nidai-san told me to and I won.”

Hinata felt dumbfounded. He didn’t except Komaeda to truly be like a kid. Some how, despite his reactions to things he always felt like Komaeda was a bit more muted kid. But he was wrong. He did get excited and happy by things like hamsters and winning against an athlete like Owari.

He felt kind of bad for thinking that. 

”I see. That’s good then! Nidai is good at what he does but you must’ve worked hard too.”, that was a good thing to say right? Maybe he should add more to it? ”I’m proud…?” He trailed off at the end and it come out as a more of a question but despite that Komaeda’s eyes widened in surprise. He nodded rapidly and turned towards Owari and Nidai who were eyeing each other with that ’We’re going to fight soon’ look.

”Bye Nidai-san! Owari-san!” Komaeda called out and started heading towards the cottage with light steps, leaving Hinata behind. He checked that Komaeda was heading to the right direction and walked towards Owari and Nidai swiftly.

”I can’t believe that he was like this as a kid.”, Hinata stated, still feeling surprised. ”But thanks.”

Owari grinned in response. ”It’s no problem. I know how to look after a group of kids so one is no problem at all.”

”And you lost to a kid too. I guess Nidai’s talent is amazing like that.” 

Nidai had already started heading away. Owari looked at him and seemed to prepare to take off.

”Ah that? Don’t tell him but I let him win after he put in all of his strength and effort. You gotta let kids win sometimes to make them feel motivated.”, after saying that Owari bolted after Nidai. Yelling about fighting. 

It seemed like Owari knew how to deal with kids surprisingly well.

 

-

Well he should go too. Someone should make sure that he washed the chlorine away and he didn’t know if he knew how to wash himself yet.

As it turned out he did know how to wash himself and had actually finished by the time he arrived at the cottage.

The negative thing was that he didn’t know how to handle his own hair. And neither did Hinata. His own hair was straight, short and the antenna just did it’s own thing. So he didn’t have to a lot of maintenance. But Komaeda’s auburn curls were…chaotic. More in order than the white version was but also more fluffy and alive. 

He wanted to cry as he tried to brush the tangled mess. Screw it.  
”I’m going to get Sonia. Wait here.”

Hinata ran out as soon as he said that and knocked Sonia’s door like there was a corpse somewhere. The moment the door opened he gave a frantic explanation about how he had no clue on what to do with Komada’s hair and he needed help.

Then he ran back to his cottage, left the door open and collapsed on the bed. ”Yeah she’ll come. She looked way too amused not to come.”, Hinata stated and reached to pat Komaeda’s hair.

He heard Sonia arrive after some time. Hinata rolled to his side and listened Sonia’s explanation about how you should use wide teethed comb and conditioner and comb it in the shower. It was nonsense to him but it was working so he decided that it wasn’t pointless information. 

”Are Nidai-san and Owari-san married? They have this really intense look they share. Mom and dad have that look too sometimes.”, Komaeda asked after being silent for a long time. He looked comfortable when he leaned against Sonia while she was working on his hair.

It was very a domestic scene. He could almost imagine a scene where a father was looking at his wife taking care of their kid’s hair while the kid asked a sudden question.

”They’re not married. And perhaps not even dating but I believe that something might happen between them! Right now their relationship is that of a coach and an athlete but it can easily change. Like in a japanese tv drama where a sensei takes a young kendoka under his wing and by episode 7 the two are in love!”

”Oh. Pekoyama-san is a kendoka right? She has a shinai.” Komaeda asked again, tilting his head slightly.

”I think so? You could ask her.”

Hinata’s day dreaming was interrupted only when Sonia said her goodbyes after finishing. Leaving him with the realisation that he had just had a ridiculously domestic fantasy.

This situation was making him think weird things. He defiantly didn’t want kids at this age. And while Sonia wasn’t unattractive he didn’t want to marry her.

And he defiantly didn’t want Komaeda to be his kid!

”Um…it’s late so time for sleep!”

 

-

”This is the worst despair!”

In between the floating codes a girl’s voice could be heard. A voice filled with despair. 

”They’re all acting so lovey-dovey disgusting because there’s a kid. The plan isn’t working and I can’t enjoy the despair of that because they’re all so gross about it!”

”…”

”Wahhhhh those stupid AI’s shouldn’t have had this much control still! To cause a glitch like this!” The voice went from despair to whiny cries in a second.

”And I can’t even provide the new motive now. All my effort goes in to fixing this…”, the voice turned in to a monotone low voice. ”Of course there is a big difference between what three ultimates can create and what I can.”

”….”

”Upupupu but it’s fine. The hope they feel right now will be crushed in to beautiful despair as everything they’ve build now will be gone. I can’t wait~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Precious fluff hair is very happy right now :3c And it seems like the class will be safe. For now.
> 
> 1\. Catch the reference or two I threw in there. Among few other things I intended to be A Thing.  
> 2\. I love kendo and I don't know how to swim.
> 
> And here's a tumblr you can throw questions at if you want I guess. Or other stuff.
> 
> http://satsumiya.tumblr.com/


	5. Acacia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hit Hinata like a coconut.
> 
> Well...that might be because it was a coconut.

Hinata opened his eyes sleepily. He heard something but it was still obviously night so it couldn’t be the Monokuma announcement. He was ready to dismiss the noise as a part of a dream when he heard it again. Whimpering and soft coughing right next to him. That made him wake up fast. Hinata sat up and turned towards Komaeda who was curled up a bit. He winced as Komaeda coughed more and made pained noises as if coughing caused him extreme pain. No, it most likely did. Hinata reached and put the table lamp on so he could check up on him better. He rolled Komaeda on to his back a bit and brushed the sweaty hair away from his eyes. His worry spiked instantly when he saw how he was drenched in sweat, pale and looking pained. He was quite sure he had a high fever and who knows what else. They didn’t know anything about what his health was like. He hadn’t even seen any signs that he was becoming sick before! Hinata shook his head to chase away the distracting thoughts. He needed Tsumiki to make sure Komaeda was fine. Things involving health weren’t his thing at all. 

”I should bring Tsumiki here. But that’ll take a while and something might happen during that time.”, he needed to voice his thoughts. The image of arriving too late was…horrifying. He knew deep down that it was impossible but something made him think ’It could happen.’ ”So…I’ll just bring him with me? Tsumiki probably has everything ready too. It’s better to do it like this.”, really he was convincing himself while he was already wrapping the sheet around him. Without a second thought he stood up and picked the bundle from the bed easily. 

Then with a deep breath he took off towards Tsumiki’s cottage.

 

”U-um he has a high fever and cold. It’s not all that bad but the fever is a bit too high so…”, Tsumiki trailed off, her eyes tearing up. ”I-I want to keep him here to make sure nothing happens. I’m sorry for assuming you’re fine with it!”  
Hinata sighed mentally. When they had arrived she had changed a bit to a more confident person. But it seemed like after the situation became more relaxed she lost that confidence.

”No it’s fine. You know how to take care of him the best. Just remember to rest too.”  
Tsumiki gave him a tearful nod and turned back towards Komaeda. Hinata knew that everything was more or less alright. It was just a fever and a cold and most likely a sore throat, nothing unusual. But when he brought him here and while Tsumiki was tending him he hadn’t woken up. When he asked about it Tsumiki told him that it might be better if he stayed asleep. Depending on how bad his throat was he might not fall asleep for a while if he woke up.  
This time Hinata sighed out loud. It was somewhere around 3 AM and he was tired. But leaving to sleep when Tsumiki was going to be staying up wasn’t exactly fair. Especially since her bed was occupied so she didn’t even have a place to sleep in.

Still despite thinking like that. Hinata couldn’t help but to doze off.

Nagito was surrounded by suffocating darkness and pain that felt like it carried him up and down like a carousel every time he swallowed. It felt like a dream but he also felt like he was awake. It was scary but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. The very idea felt exhausting. A pressure build up in his throat and he coughed sharply. The pain it brought made his hand twitch. It hurt so bad and he felt sticky.  
Someone took his hand. There weren’t a lot of people at home usually. And when he felt bad then mom would be there even if she had something else to do. So…he’d be fine then. If she was here then he’d be alright. 

The pain didn’t cease but…he could ignore it just a bit more.

 

When Nagito opened his eyes he ended up shutting them again immediately. The light was painful and his head was heavy and it ached. He swallowed a bit and grimaced at the slimy pain. He wanted to cry but it would hurt too so he tried to hold it in.  
But he couldn’t fall back to sleep anymore. Everything was just too distracting to do that.

”K-komaeda-kun you should wake up for a bit. You need to drink and eat something light. And take medicine.”  
Nagito disagreed with the voice. He wasn’t hungry and he didn’t think he could swallow anything. Especially not medicine. Even if it made him feel a bit better it still tasted nasty.  
”K-komaeda-kun!”  
Ah she was a bit more forceful now. At least her soft voice didn’t worsen his headache. But still, he really didn’t want to open is eyes. But he didn’t want to be mean either. So he slowly opened his eyes, letting out a small whimper as he did so. The light made everything worse.

”A-ah good morning. I’ll help you sit up.”, the girl said with a bit of a stutter, gently helping him sit up before his thought could even really catch up. He felt the cold towel on his head drop and his eyes focused on it as he phased out. He knew who she was but…everything was hard to place. For now he should just allow her to do all the things mom always did when he was sick.

 

Things remained the same for a few days. He mostly slept and when he woke up he’d have to eat some soup and drink water. And then Tsumiki would give him some medicine that would make his cough stop and made him sleepy. Then when he laid down she put the cool towel on his head again. He couldn’t really complain since he should’ve known this was coming. But he had fun swimming so he forgot that he was going to be sick due to it. It was too late have regrets. Not that he had any since being sick brought him some fun things.

The fun thing was that almost everyone visited him. Tanaka mumbled something weird every time he had visited and stated that he was warding off the curse. Sonia had brought him some pretty seashells, Mioda had made a colorful card with a bit too much glitter. Or according to Mioda ’Just the bare minimum of glitter!’ In short…everyone visited him. Especially Hinata who took over Tsumiki whenever she looked tired.  
He was happy. Even if he had been sick he was happy. Tsumiki talked to him a lot and he learned a lot about medicine and such. She looked really happy too when he expressed wanting to know about the things she liked. 

He felt better. His fever had gone down enough that he didn’t feel dizzy all the time and the other stuff had lessened too. But he still had to rest because everyone insisted it. But it wasn’t all that bad since he could read some books to pass time. He didn’t even mind being left alone for a bit. It was calm.  
Nagito smiled. Everyone really seemed to care for him. And he could probably call some of them his friends. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. To have friends…he was overjoyed at the idea.

 

Hinata was walking back to Tsumiki’s cottage. They hadn’t moved Komaeda back to his cottage yet but they would probably do it today. While Tsumiki was fine sharing the bed with Komaeda she deserved to rest well for the next few days. Especially after she had almost tripped down the stairs(Kuzuryuu of all people had caught her. And then stormed off without any comment.) 

But Tsumiki’s tripping hadn’t been enough to stop her from tending Mioda, Tanaka and Sonia after all three had come to her with huge bumps on their heads. Apparently some coconuts had landed on their head while they were walking on the beach.  
Hinata didn’t think much of it other than wondering on how unlucky you had to be to have that happen to you. 

Then it hit him. 

A coconut actually hit him when he paused under a palm tree for a second.

Hinata saw stars for a second and brought his hand to rub the bump. He had to bother Tsumiki after all. He was ready to continue walking when the plastic bag broke and the snacks fell out. Hinata cursed out loud.

”Seriously this is the worst luck…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well to put it bluntly: My feelings about this chapter are extremely 'Nah'.
> 
> And my throat feels gross because Nagito's feelings are what I felt in detail during my tonsillitis. 10/10 wouldn't recommend that to anyone.
> 
> (And I am now 6th Kyu so I really wanna write a chapter that's just dedicated to kendo. But how to put add something like that in a natual way is the question.)


	6. Sorrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's impossible to not feel awkward if you're supposed to watch over a kid who you technically knocked out, tied up and left alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Decapitation
> 
> (Now that' a warning I never thought I would use.)

Nagito couldn’t help the happy grin on his face. Mom and dad picked him up some time ago and they were heading towards home. It had been a fun week despite everything that happened but he had missed his parents a lot.

”Nagito are you excited?” His mother asked, smiling kindly. She looked really pretty when she was smiling and not frowning and reading papers.  
”Of course!” He really was. Nagito leaned a bit forwards to see his father’s sleeping figure. It was nice to see that too. Dad was always sleepy when he wasn’t working.  
”I think you’ll especially like the Isla lobos. There are sea lions there.”, she stated and started to smooth his hair. Although it reminded him a bit more about how you'd pet a fluffy animal. He had forgotten that she had put it on a short ponytail. There was a practical reason for it probably.

”Huh? We’re not going home?” But he had just come from the island? Why would they go to an another place now?  
”Mmm there are also other animals there. And views there should be amazing.”, she was ignoring him?  
Nagito felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Something was wrong. The scene shifted. (How?)

A man was yelling and waving a gun around. The plane was…hijacked? How…why? The man walked to up to them. He could feel his mom tense and his father had woken up too. Nagito was paralyzed. He knew what was going to happen right? But he couldn’t recall it.  
The man said something about rich people and children being useful. His dad pointed at him and then at himself and mom and they went to the front with the man walking behind them.

He couldn’t understand what was happening anymore. He was alone.  
For a moment there was a silent moment. No one screamed, cried or prayed. The plane was engulfed in silence. Nagito stared at his parents in the front. They both had tears rolling down their faces. His mom mouthed something to him.

The roof of the plane ripped open with a deafening bang. The world darkened around him and the next time it came back to focus.  
He was staring at his mom laying on the floor. Her sightless eyes staring at nothing. No…it was only one eye.  
The other eye…  
There was something wrong with it. Nagito let out a hysterical giggle. No way.

 

There was nothing but a gaping hole at the other side of her face.

 

Nagito woke up screaming his head off. The image flashed in front of his eyes as he leaned out of the bed to throw up.  
It was too real. No no no no no they were dead! He was at a hospital! He had to be! They died! Why? Why? Why!?  
He could hear noises. Doctors? Or machines keeping him alive? Had he died too? 

No, the noise was someone’s voice talking. Nagito couldn’t make out the words. Where was he again? Hospital? It didn’t smell like one. He should know the smell by now. (Why? He hadn’t visited one that often?)

”Nagito!”  
Ah…Hinata was calling at him. He must’ve woken him up. Actually, that’s right. They were on an island and he was back in Hinata’s cottage. Since he wasn’t really sick anymore.  
Right, and they had called his parents just a week ago. So it was just a nightmare.

Just a bad dream.

He let out a sob and turned towards Hinata to bury his head in his shirt.

The way Hinata smoothed his hair was awkward but comforting. Nothing like how his mom did it. Although right now imagining her made him feel sick. So he opted to bury his head deeper in to Hinata’s shirt.

Whatever Hinata had started to say to him now went unnoticed. Something was draining from him as he sobbed and it made him feel exhausted. But sleep didn’t come to him.  
But that was fine. With his head buried and someone next to him he felt somewhat calm.

 

Hinata woke up groggily. He hadn’t really gotten any sleep during the night. After Komaeda’s nightmare he had comforted him for hours. And after Komaeda had fallen in to a some sort of sleep he had cleaned up the floor and went back to making sure he slept well.

So he had stayed awake for the most part and taken short naps. Because whatever the dream was about was bad. He could understand that he dreamed about his parents dying based on the things he had muttered after waking up. He wasn’t sure where such a dream came from. Unless his parents were actually dead. But he had said the opposite. Well he shouldn’t try to figure it out when he was barely awake. Hinata sighed, he might have to tell Souda that Komaeda wasn’t up to doing anything today. Or perhaps it would be better if he hanged around with Souda instead of not doing anything.

But he should sleep some more for now. It wasn’t still time to wake up.

 

Souda had never felt this awkward in his life. The kid was just sitting and staring at the alarm clock he was tinkering with. He yawned occasionally and coughed at times. But other than that the kid was silent. The fact that he and Nidai had kinda knocked out and tied up the older Komaeda made it even worse. And it made him feel somewhat horrible. Because while the guy creeped him out and tried to kill a person and just generally was kinda nuts. Punching a kid wasn’t something he’d do. Although he had been like a decade older when they did it. But still, even if he was starting to creep him out now he’d deal with it casually.

”H-hey? What do you like anyway?”  
Souda prayed that he’d answer and start talking. Komaeda looked at him with wide eyes. Now that he could see his eyes it was obvious that the kid hadn’t slept.

”Oh.”, Komada cleared his throat. ”I like reading. And dogs too I guess.”

Thank god, he could work with this. Probably not with the dog part since that Tanaka had mentioned something about ’The spirit of a Cerberus following the little mortal.’ Which probably translated to a 'His dog died.'

”That’s cool. What kinda books?”

The kid tilted his head slowly. ”I dunno. Mysteries are nice.”, he seemed to consider something for a bit before tilting his head back up. ”Souda-san do you read?”  
Souda was tempted to laugh nervously. He actually succeeded in creating normal conversation with Komaeda. About books.

”Well I guess I read some stuff. Like things about mechanics and such you know? Not much of the other stuff. I think I read some stuff when I was outside as a kid.”, not that Souda has really wanted to do that back then. It had been something he kinda had to do.

”I’d like to read outside too but there is always a meteor shower when I try to do it. It gets annoying after a while so I gave up.”, Komaeda sounded a bit sad about not being able to read where he wanted. He covered it up soon by giving him a smile. It was kinda obvious to him that this guy gave fake smiles to people about 50% of the time. It was a pain to see honestly, especially since it was hard to notice the differences between the real deal and fake one. It might be easier if he could get the kid to smile a genuine smile for longer than a second with him.

But meteor showers every time he went out to read? Seriously either the kid was pulling his leg or the had some sort of bullshit powers. Ah damn, he had been silent for a while now hadn’t he?

”Hey you like dogs right? What kind?” Souda had an idea forming in his head. Possibly brilliant idea that he felt a bit giddy about.

”Eh? Oh, umm…big and fluffy ones. The kind that scares danger away!” Just for a moment his eyes glittered happily. And then it was gone and sadness took it’s place. Souda cursed mentally, there was that one second smile again.

”Gotcha. The big dogs are cool but I don’t really know any breeds. I just kinda have this small, medium and big thing in my head.”, Souda poked the conversation topic a bit more as he took some paper in front of him and started to draw plans. He could see Komaeda scooting closer to see what he was doing but it seemed like he didn’t understand the plans he was making. Good, he didn’t want him to understand them for now.

”Well a good example for that scale would be the pomeranian, kleinspitz and keeshond breeds. I remember reading that they’re more or less the same breed but different sizes.”, Komaeda started explaining and seemed to be ready to say more before he closed his mouth and looked ashamed. ”Sorry…I know you don’t care.”  
Souda could recognize the ’I have so many things I want to talk about but no one to talk to.’ behavior. He almost snorted, it was more or less his life. No one really cared about mechanics and he had kinda grown used to it. 

”Nah keep talking. It’s interesting and doing blueprints is boring stuff to watch otherwise.”, he did his best to sound like it was no big deal. It’s not that he was extremely interested but he didn’t mind either. As long as he didn't start rambling about death, despair and hope he was fine with almost everything else.  
Besides it was really a small thing to do to make a kid happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that he can't canonly read outside without meteor shower is hilarious to me??? Like his luck ruins absolutely everything that he'd be happy doing. And reading is apparently the safest thing for him to do yet his luck still does it's best to make sure he doesn't get the 100% enjoyment from it.
> 
> Oh yea I almost went in great detail about that last part in the nightmare. Because I have a way too clear visual image of that. (Don't google things that are on 'Don't google these things' list. Unless you've seen what I'm talking about here. Then join me on my journey to try to forget it.)
> 
> (Can you guess what his parents were talking about?)


	7. Purple Tulip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia explores the career of a hairdresser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly no one in this fic gets decent sleep anymore.

As a princess Sonia had to be ready to adapt to strange situations and lead the people around her. Though she would prefer not to in some cases. Such as in the situation she and her classmates were in right now. A killing game in itself was horrible but one could still accept it. But adding the other oddities to it and the situation they were in was bizarre. 

She had been glad when Togami had taken the mantle as their leader. He had been very good at it and done his best to avoid a murder. But he was murdered by their classmate. And that murder had been half-planned by another. An individual who proved himself to be…unstable. 

A classmate who had been turned in to a child. It was like a TV show’s plot twist, but it was reality. So she had to adapt fast and guide her classmates. Which has proved to be a bit troublesome because the situation was weird and easy because a child felt safe. 

Sonia couldn’t agree to the idea that children were safe. She knew enough about such things to know that children could do terrible things.

But after observing Nagito Komaeda for a short while she could easily tell that he wasn’t a dangerous child. More silent and subdued than most, perhaps lonely if other children thought him weird due to his personality. But not a child capable of knowingly hurting others. 

Which is why she had originally ignored Souda’s questioning about her safety few days earlier. Whatever danger the white haired Komaeda posed wasn’t present in the auburn haired child. She would be fine. 

Sonia interrupted her inner musings. It was almost time for her to take Komaeda to the library. That itself might be a bit boring but it was within her abilities to find a conversation topic.

 

Sonia worried for nothing it seemed. Komaeda was fully content with just sitting and reading a book in silence. Sonia let him read in peace for a while but the silence was a bit boring to her. 

”Komaeda-kun I am curious about your parents.”, Sonia asked, putting the occult magazine she had been skimming through down. It was curious indeed, how he had accepted their lie without many questions and spoke of them fondly, if not a bit longing at the same time.

Komaeda put his book down slowly and placed a bookmark on the page he had been reading. ”What about them Sonia-san?” He gave her a confused look.  
”What kind of people they’re like and such. Whatever you want to tell me is fine. I am merely curious.”, Sonia specified. It was better to not ask suspicious questions and risk offending Komaeda. And it was very likely that she’d get the answers to her questions by letting him talk freely. 

Komaeda looked even more confused before the look turned in to concentrated look. ”They work a lot. I don’t know where but there are a lot of important papers that I’m not allowed to touch. Actually I’m not allowed to visit either of their studies alone. But I can’t go in with Okano-san either.”, Komaeda started and quieted a bit towards the end, the longing tone revealing what he really thought. 

Sonia seemed to be wrong about him being a silent child then. Well no harm done for thinking that.

”Okano-san?” He addressed them in a fairly polite tone so it must not be someone very familiar.

”Oh yeah she’s our maid. She works hard so I don’t talk with her often. But she’s nice to me.”, he smiled slightly. A maid seemed useful if his parents worked a lot and possibly weren’t home often either. But it fueled a theory that Sonia had. 

”Ah I see. I have plenty of maids back in Novoselic among other workers. But I haven’t had a chance to talk to most of them often.”

”You live in a castle right? Is it really big then?” Komaeda asked curiously, a bit of hair falling in front of his eyes. Sonia had an urge to practice her braiding with different hair quality than her own.

”Yes I suppose it is quite large.”, Sonia stated and thought back about the castle. It was well guarded and there was enough space to house their servants among other possible quests and such. It must take a long time to clean just one floor. ”Ah Komaeda-kun would you mind if I practiced my braids with your hair?”

Once again she had managed to surprise Komaeda. He bit his lip and tugged some of his hair a bit in thought. It must be weird to be asked something like that suddenly.  
”Alright. I’m not really used to other people touching my hair other than mom. But it’s fine.”, Sonia gave a small nod as a response and moved to sit next to Komaeda and started to comb the hair a bit with her fingers.

”Is your house big then Komaeda-kun?” If her theory was right then it could possible be a rather fancy house. 

”Huh? Oh no it’s just a two story house. Nothing like a big castle.”, Komaeda said, clearly perplexed.

Sonia blinked. It sounded rather normal house then. ”Ah pardon me then. I thought you might live in a manor.”, truthfully she was quite sure that his family might be wealthy.

”No we don’t. Mom and dad think that it’s tacky to show off.”

Sonia let out a small sound of realization. She had almost forgotten the cultural difference between Japan and Europe. It was an embarrassing mistake but she supposed that she was lucky to do it in front of a child rather than a foreign guest. While thinking her fingers slipped and the carefully done braid was ruined. This…might be harder than she thought.

”Hmm Komaeda-kun would you mind if I taught you some english while I’m braiding?”

 

 

Souda burst in to the library feeling extremely excited. He had finished his new project in a record time due to motivation and an all nighter. Which was probably going to come back and bite him in the ass once the caffeine stopped affecting him. But right now Souda was ready to present that kid with something that would make his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Souda walked straight to Komaeda who was sitting on a sofa and muttering something in other language, clearly focused on the task. 

”Sorry to bother ya Komaeda but I think you’re gonna like this.”, Souda said and prepared to move his other hand behind his back. Komaeda whipped his head up, clearly startled by someone suddenly addressing him. ”Oh Souda-san! What is it?”

Souda grinned and put the hidden hand out in front of him. ”So you like dogs yea? And I figured that you might get a bit bored sometimes so I made you a robot dog.”  
Komaeda stared at the small metal dog. It was small enough that it fit on Souda’s hand. He would’ve liked to make it bigger but he didn’t have resources for that. And it wasn’t capable of doing everything he wanted it to do for the same reason but it was still rather nice.

”It’s amazing!” Komaeda burst out suddenly. He really was beaming with joy.

”Ah it’s not much. It can only walk and sit and bark occasionally.”, Souda explained. It was really worth to feel like he was going to have a heart attack from all that caffeine to see the kid smile like that. It was his goal to see it after all.

And just like that Komaeda rushed off the sofa to hug him. Muttering his gratitude in the fabric of his jumpsuit.

Souda gave an awkward laugh. He didn’t except this and it was…oh so awkward. But also it felt nice that his work was appreciated. Souda cleared his throat a bit and patted Komaeda’s hair slowly, trying to convey a ’Please stop’ message. It didn’t work. He noticed the hair band like braid but decided to not question it right now.

”It is rather impressive Souda-san.” Sonia addressed him, still sitting and looking at Komaeda.

Ah…Sonia was here too. He completely ignored her presence! But she had sort of noticed him!

Souda let out a nervous laugh.

His day had went from good to great.

 

Nagito admired the Robodog. He had returned to the cottage a while ago after playing with Robodog in the library alone for a while. Since Sonia had more or less ran way and Souda had stayed for a while before leaving. 

Hinata had arrived to get him after apparently realizing that he was still in there alone. He had seemed rather annoyed too, grumbling about it being dark and such.  
Nagito didn’t mind, he had been fine. Though it was better that Hinata had come to get him. It had been dark outside and he had an interesting ability to get lost even if he knew where he was going.

”Sonia is pretty good at braids I guess.”, Hinata stated from the bed. He had been looking at this hair for a while now.

”She did redo it a lot until she was fine with this one. It was nice.”

Hinata hummed as a response and rolled on his back. It was starting to become really late and he should go to sleep soon. But he didn’t want to. Not yet. Sleep didn’t feel inviting to him anymore.

He was going to play a bit more. Until he could lay down and fall asleep without having to think at all.

 

Tsumiki was screaming inside her head.

As a nurse she had seen everything, smelled everything and touched everything. She had also heard everything. But if she was suddenly thrust in to a situation that included missing limbs and such she needed a moment to scream.

Like now. With her making sure that Souda didn’t loose too much blood while trying to figure out how she was going to fix his finger. Or what was left of it! She didn’t have the missing piece and luckily it didn’t reach the bone. So she could at least treat it herself. Somehow. 

She needed someone to go and find her the necessary supplies from the pharmacy. She needed to place a protective dressing at least. And possibly a splint just to be sure. And prepare the continued treatment the finger was going to need.

The problem was that she wasn’t a doctor. This was a job for a doctor and the was really just doing her best here. 

She winced at the panicked noise Souda made. At least he had calmed down compared to how he was before. But he couldn’t be blamed for panicking. 

Tsumiki took a deep breath. She needed to be calm and figure out a way to get someone’s attention. And then she needed to do what she could.  
It was going to be a long night with no sleep for her yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tempted to name the chapters using flowers. I wanna hear your thoughts because part of me thinks it has to sound lame to other people. This is the part I care about. The rest is just my rambling.
> 
>  
> 
> Whoo boy this chapter had a lot of research going on for it. From the living style of wealthy japanese people to cut off fingers. 
> 
> Well the fruit of my research was that: Older wealthy families are modest about their wealth. Now I could've understood it wrong but I can kinda see it you know? 
> 
> And for the fingers: Usually this stuff is for doctors. 
> 
>  
> 
> And a commercial break: Brought to you by the author of the fic where Komaeda has a ponytail, braids and horrifying nightmares about the death of his family among the other passangers. A fic with more hair, flowers and more suffering than ever. The heather flower days.
> 
> Not really. This is just a joke I really wanted to make here.


	8. Christmas rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory gaming chapter.

Hinata frowned as he heard Komaeda yawn for the umpteenth time ever since he woke up. Really based on the dark circles and the constant yawning it was painfully obvious that he hadn’t slept well. It was almost impressive to see how he had managed to avoid falling asleep for hours.

It was most likely due to the nightmare. Hinata still didn’t know what happened in it but it affected Komaeda quite a bit if he avoided sleep. It made him feel worry for his health. Well it seemed like hanging out with others helped Komaeda a bit so that was what he could do for now.

Well Nanami was late though, it was her turn. She had told him that she would come in the cottage somewhere around one o’clock but it was already half past two. At first Hinata had figured that she had fallen asleep. 

”I don’t think Nanami-san is coming.” Komaeda stated out of blue. Hinata let out a surprised noise. 

”Well I think she might just be late. She tends to fall asleep easily.”, Hinata explained and ignored the small amount of sweat gathering on the back of his neck. Komaeda shrugged. ”Well it’s fine though. It’s not the first time.” His sweating intensified. The temptation to go and check Nanami made itself apparent. So did the temptation to hug Komaeda. He wouldn’t do either of those. 

”Oh?” He should at least acknowledge what Komaeda said. Not that he was fine with him being fine with these things. He could see the others eyes brighten a bit. ”Yeah I mentioned that dad works a lot right? And he takes me in to nice places when he can? Well sometimes he forgets to do that because he’s tired. He feels bad about it. But I don’t want him to be tired you know? So if Nanami-san works hard she shouldn’t force herself either.” Komaeda finished the entire ’speech’ in one breathe and took a gulp of air afterwards.

Hinata stared at him. Komaeda didn’t seem upset like he would imagine some other child being. But he couldn’t claim that he looked absolutely fine with the situation. More like he tried to justify it to himself to feel better. It was tempting to ask but…if it was commonplace then it might be better to leave him with something to use to feel better. Even if it wasn’t fine.

A frantic but soft knock interupted his thought process. Hinata was about to rise up to open it but Komaeda stood up and opened it faster. 

”Nanami-san I know you’re tired but please be more careful! It doesn’t feel nice to be stood up by a friend!” Monomi’s childish voice scolded before yelping in surprise at the open door. She gave a small wave to Komaeda who looked Monomi with a very confused look.

Hinata cursed mentally. They didn’t mention Monokuma or Monomi did they? Could he just push both of them as Souda’s creations? Or at least Monomi who seemed to be more active than Monokuma who hadn’t ben around for a while now.

”Sorry Komaeda-kun. I got a bit stuck with choosing the games and consoles for today…” Nanami explained, trailing off a bit and then yawning. Her hair was a bit messy so it wasn’t wrong to assume that she had also taken a nap. But it wasn’t Hinata’s job to call her out.

Komaeda was still staring after Monomi who had waddled off the moment Nanami had started talking. ”It’s fine Nanami-san. But why is there a bunny?”

She looked at Komaeda with her head tilted. In a moment of panic Hinata begun to explain.

”It’s a robot made by Souda. The program? Yeah the program it works on was made by a programmer thought. You know the usual projects ultimate's do sometimes..” Hinata tried to create a lie that Komaeda would dismiss as unimportant or at the very least find believable. Hell Hinata couldn’t remember if there was a ultimate programmer for the life of him. 

”Oh. That makes sense.”, Komaeda nodded and looked up at Nanami, who had managed to fall asleep. ”Uh Nanami-san?” He tugged her sleeve a bit. She opened her eyes and went to sit on the floor next to the bed. ”Let’s start. I’m kinda excited to play against you Komaeda-kun.” Nanami started to pull out games and consoles from her bag. There seemed to be something from every genre Hinata could think off.

Did the talent of an ultimate gamer come with an additional talent for packing the most games in small bags too? 

Komaeda followed and sat next to Nanami, looking at the games with a bit of wonder. ”Why? I haven’t really played a lot of games so I’m not good…”

Hinata could figure out why she wanted to but he hoped that she didn’t say it. Not that she seemed like the type of person to just blurt out secrets. Nanami seemed to think for a moment. ”It’s fun to play with new people.” 

Komaeda mumbled out a response to Nanami but he couldn’t hear it. Komaeda was more focused on reading the game summaries than speaking anymore.

”So what did you have in mind Nanami?” He asked. Might as well let Komaeda inspect the stuff for a while.

”I dunno? Playing in multiplayer and eating snacks? It’s one way to spend time together.”, she explained and took a game from the pile. ”Space team might be fun to play.”  
Honestly he didn’t know what game it was. But did that matter anyway. ”I’m fine with anything. How about you Komaeda? Found anything you want to play?”  
Komaeda’s head jerked up at the sound of his name. ”Ah I don’t know most of these so I’m fine with whatever Nanami-san thinks is fun.”  
It seemed like Nanami was already preparing the game. ”It’s easy. I’ll explain it first but we can do a practice run too.”  
And so it began.

 

”It blew up…” Komaeda let out a shaky breath. ”Nanami-san you’re really good at games but it still blew up. Isn’t that really weird?”

He sounded weird when he said that. Hinata couldn’t figure out any reason behind it.

”Not really…it needs teamwork to win. One person can’t keep everything together alone. You have to trust your friends to give you instruction and help with it.” Nanami mumbled and started to dig around the game pile again. They had only played one round but it seemed like the change would be welcome based on the sudden mood change.

”How about a fighting game? You and Hinata-kun can play against each other and the winner plays against me at first?”

Komaeda nodded. He seemed happy about the sudden change.

”Whoa! How did you manage that combo?” Hinata yelled in surprise. He hadn’t excepted Komada to be so good at the game. Was it just luck?

”I just pressed buttons at random…”

Of course it was luck. Why did he even think otherwise.

”Komaeda-kun. Let’s start!” Hinata could see Nanami’s eyes lit up in excitement.

The battle between ultimate luck and ultimate gamer was about to start.

Hinata could only stare as the two started a frantic button pressing. Nanami with a clear focused goal and Komaeda who seemed to be just pressing buttons with furrowed brows. They seemed to be pretty equally matched for a while until Nanami took the upper hand.

And then Komaeda’s character did a flashy attack that took her out with no problem. ”I lost?” Nanami questioned and looked Komada with even more intense look. ”Again.”

Komaeda let out a nervous laugh under her intense stare.

Hinata could agree with the sentiment. She was intense when the found the right opponent it seemed.

 

Hinata felt exhausted. They had been at it for hours with Komaeda winning every single game they played. He wasn’t really annoyed as much as he was amazed by how lucky he is and how Nanami seemed to be more awake and active now than she had been for the past week and half.

But it was still getting late and he wanted to clean the empty snack wrappers around them. And put Komaeda to bed because he had been yawning more than usual for the past twenty minutes. 

Hinata looked over at Komaeda to gauge how tired he was. He wasn’t going to say no to Nanami and Nanami was on an another level with her gaming energy. So it was his job to call the quits.

And rightfully so because Komaeda kept nodding off until the console slipped from his hands. Yeah it was bedtime for him.

”Nanami.”, Hinata whispered and poked her arm. Now that no one was playing against her she defeated Komaeda’s character with ease.

”Oh?” She seemed decently happy to win though. Well, until she looked up and saw that her opponent had fallen asleep. ”I guess it’s late.”  
Hinata didn’t answer as he begun lifting Komaeda to the bed, carefully. He didn’t want to risk waking him up now. He could hear Nanami yawn too and start gathering the games and trash around the floor.

”How’s Souda?” That was one thing he hadn’t had time to think. He only heard the bare facts during the breakfest while Saionji was pestering Komaeda about calling her ’Onee-sama’.

”Resting. I think he was still in a bit of a shock. Koizumi-san took over Tsumiki-san because she looked like she might collapse.”, Nanami whispered to him.  
”I hope he is alright. It must be painful.”, he couldn’t even imagine how it’d feel like to cut off a part of your finger. ”And Tsumiki too. She really did look half-dead. Did she stay up the whole night again?” 

”Mmm she did. I should get going. I want to practice a bit.” Nanami yawned again and took her backbag from the floor. She looked uncharacteristically exhausted.

”You should take care of yourself too. You’ve been more tired than usual. I mean this is a weird situation but…”, he didn’t know what else to say. The murder, trial, Hanamura's cruel execution, their lost memories, de-aged Komaeda. It was normal if everyone was messed up. 

”Mmm I understand Hinata-kun. I’ll only play a short time then.”, she gave him her usual smile and left with a a soft bye and a wave.

Hinata sighed. Despite the rocky begining the day had went well. They had fun and Komaeda seemed like he might sleep well tonight. And because Nanami cleaned the floor for him he could just go straight to sleep.

The day had been so normal that he felt more relaxed than usual.

It made falling asleep easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lost motivation to any kind of writing for a while. Even important school things. Which...I still haven't done actually.
> 
> Honestly I tried to capture the kind of 'slow and somewhat somber' mood here. Because this trio is either a) Worried for other people's health b) Sleep deprived and stressed about sleeping c) Tired for reasons.
> 
> So their gaming was a fun break but when fun's over the mood comes back.
> 
>  
> 
> But hopefully I'll throw a new chapter at you soon. And a move alive chapter too.
> 
> // For the record if someone likes the new Fantastic beasts movie and dangan ronpa and is willing to hear an AU of mine out then please tell. I'd love to throw it at the first person who is willing to bring it to life :D


	9. Syringa (Carolina)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Saionji is the babysitter things can only go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for kidnapping and threats and some violence towards a child.
> 
> If it upsets you in anyway you might want to skip the first part of this chapter entirely.

Nagito was walking in a city. He must’ve phased out for a while. He didn’t even remember when he got back from the island. But then again he had been so tired that it was no wonder.

The sun had set some time ago. Usually he would be home by now but something had kept him from leaving school in time. It didn’t really matter since no on would be waiting for him. His parents must be working late again. They did mention it probably.

But the darkening mostly empty street made him feel anxious.

There had been something about suspicious activity in the news. Terrible things that he had read more about and regretted it instantly. After that he had felt like someone was watching him always. The feeling might as well be permanent by this point.

Nagito let out a small puff of air as he walked past a row of cars and few vans. Maybe he should consider a taxi? But that felt excessive, he shouldn’t use a taxi to get home just because he felt a bit of fear. He heard footsteps behind him and moved a bit to the side to get out of the way. They seemed to be in a bit of a hurry.

Suddenly a hand covered his mouth and he was being dragged backwards. He tried to struggle free while screaming against the hand. If the hand moved just a bit someone could hear him then! 

A cold metal was placed against his neck and he could feel warm breath against his ear. ”Shut up or I’ll cut your throat open.” 

It was a man’s raspy voice. He could hear that he wasn’t joking. Nagito went limp and allowed the stranger to drag him in to one of the vans. His limbs felt heavy and cold and he couldn’t make sense of his panic filled thoughts. He could still feel the cold blade on his neck even as the man gagged him with something that tasted like plastic. He didn’t dare to move one bit even after he was dropped on the van’s floor for a while.

He just allowed himself to be tied up with rope. If…if he didn’t struggle he wouldn’t be killed? That’s how it worked in kidnappings right? That’s what he had been told.

The man let out a raspy laugh. ”You’re not a stupid kid then. Good, easier to explain. This is how this is going to work. I’ll be contacting your parents and they will hurry to empty their bank accounts and get you back in one piece. And if not then they’ll get you back piece by piece. You might also want to be on your best behavior while visiting me. You’d prefer to go back in one piece too right? Maybe you’ll even get to star in a video called ’Mommy, daddy please save me!’” The man was clearly amused. Nagito swallowed, he wanted to wipe his eyes and nose but he could only struggle against the restraints. 

His kidnapper opened the van door and jumped out. He noticed the scarf that covered most of his face. ”Remember what I said.” And with those words the door was slammed shut.

 

The van started to move and Nagito squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop himself from wailing against the gag. He didn’t want to risk making noise. He just needed to be good and his parents-  
Wouldn’t come. How did he forget? They died. He could still remember what he saw clearly. How everyone praised his lucky survival and offered him their empty words. The whispers about how low the chances of a meteorite of any size hitting a plane were.

If he was lucky at some point in his life then his luck had ran out. He was going to die in a van. Alone, without anyone missing him. And if someone noticed that a child called Nagito Komaeda was missing then he’d already be long dead. His breath hitched.

He didn’t want to die like this. He had no reason to live but he didn’t want to die! Not like this!

Nagito couldn’t stop the panicked sobs. He wanted someone to save him.

 

The van stopped moving but Nagito couldn’t bring himself to care. The silence made his ears ring and his throat was dry. It had been at least a day by now and his kidnapper hadn’t come back. 

At least he didn’t feel hungry. The constant disgusting taste of plastic kept him from feeling very hungry. Or perhaps it was the situation itself.

He could only feel the dull fear and panic that had settled in to his body after the tears had stopped. 

Nagito tried to not think of anything. If he could phase out then everything would be better...

 

Nagito felt a sharp pain in his scalp as he blinked awake fast. The man had returned and was tugging his hair, clearly enraged.

”An orphan! A fucking orphan with no relatives or caretakers! No friends! No one to even call the fucking cops for you! You’re useless!” The man continued pulling his hair and ranting. 

Nagito felt the dull emotions step aside for the cold terror trickling down his spine. He knew what this meant for him. He had tried to ignore it. He had to ignore it to keep the hope of being saved alive. The man let go of his hair. He was sure that some of it had been ripped off. 

”No one will miss you…”, his kidnapper stated, deadly calm. A muted sob escaped from Nagito. This was it. He was going to die now. His breath became frantic in panic. He didn’t want to die. He really didn’t want to die like this! He repeated those words in his mind like a mantra.

”Oh don’t be like that. You’ll get to join your parents soon enough.”, the man said with a dark laugh and help up a black trash bag. ”Well you’ll have to die of dehydration first.”

The man left the van once again and left him to think of his upcoming fate while the van moved.

Nagito’s mind was unable to stray from the feeling of impending doom. He wanted to see his parents again but he also didn’t want that at all.

 

When the van finally stopped there was a strange mood in the air. Horrifying finality of the situation sets in as the door is opened once again. Nagito could see that it was dark outside. The face of his kidnapper was still covered by a scarf. He could see a wide manic look in the man’s eyes.

It made Nagito’s stomach twist as he was taken out of the van and stuffed in to a trash bag without a word. The bag moved and the trash rustled as the bag’s opening was tied. Then he was dropped on the ground and footsteps headed away from him. A piece of paper was scratching his more or less numb hands behind his bag. He grasped the paper in to his fist. All he could was wait for something to happen.

A loud woman’s scream made him jolt awake. 

 

Nagito let out a panicked gasp as he moved his hands to grasp his head. His hands were free! He kicked his legs around and they were free too. Nagito took a shuddering breath through his mouth and felt instant relief from being able to do so.

It had been just a dream? But it felt real, more real than the dream of his parents dying. He didn’t feel in control of himself at all. 

”Komaeda? Did you have a bad dream?” Hinata’s hoarse voice asked from next to him. It helped him feel more grounded in the current moment. They had played games with Nanami, he had won against her. They ate snacks. He could still taste the lingering taste of the peanuts. Or maybe he tasted his own tears?

”I’m fine Hinata-san.”, sure it was a lie but the idea of comfort was uncomfortable. His words didn’t convince Hinata who rose to a sitting position clumsily. He reached a hand towards his head. 

Nagito flinched away with a yelp. It was stupid! Hinata wouldn’t do anything the dream kidnapper did but he couldn’t stop himself.

Hinata dropped his hand fast while apologizing. Somehow that made Nagito start crying.

Something was wrong with him. He could feel it in his bones.

He didn’t fall asleep again even after he stopped crying. And neither did Hinata.

 

Nagito had followed Hinata to the restaraunt silently. He took small bites of his food but he couldn’t find the appetite to eat more. No one was pestering him about it but he could feel them glance at him occasionally. It was honestly uncomfortable.

He didn’t look up as someone rose up and started to head out.

”You’re coming with me today so you better hurry. I need someone to carry snacks.”, Saionji called out from the door. She sounded irritated. Nagito looked up from his plate to see who was the unlucky one.

”You’re not going to eat anyway. Don’t make your onee-sama wait!” She snapped and pointed at him with even more irritated expression on her face. Oh, she was talking about him then. And that meant that he should spend the day with Saionji. It sounded nice actually. Since she didn’t care that much about certain things.

”I’m coming.”, Nagito blurted out and hurried to Saionji before anyone could voice anything against it.

 

”Saionji-san why do you need so many snacks?” Nagito asked, looking down at the plastic bag filled with different kinds of snacks and sweets. He hadn’t questioned why Saionji just walked in the empty supermarket and picked what she wanted and walked out without paying. He took a chip bag with him after Saionji told him to. It might just be an Hope’s peak thing anyway. If the school could prepare a trip like this then it wasn’t weird.

Or just a Saionji thing to be honest. Either way he didn’t feel like opposing.

”I don’t want to do many trips and I want to utilize help. And call me onee-sama. You have to show respect to you elders!” Saionji declared and sat down on the beach. Nagito followed the suit more slowly. He sometimes forgot that Saionji wasn’t in the elementary school. 

”Saionji-oneesama…?” He mumbled it out. He hadn’t really called anyone that before. But Saionji wasn’t going to accept no for an answers most likely. She had pestered him about it since the day they met.

”Now was it that hard? Give me a bag of gummie bears and eat those gross chips of yours.”, Nagito sighed as he heard her snappy tone. She wasn’t kind at all. But maybe if he continued calling her like that she’d be nicer? He gave a bag of gummies(no lemon flavored ones) and gave it to her. He also took the bag of chips and opened it. He might as well eat them.

They sat in silence at munched their own snacks.

 

Nagito thought he heard a noise behind them and looked there. Tsumiki was walking towards them, looking exhausted. He could relate.  
”S-saionji-san! Komaeda-kun! I-I’m sorry to bother you but…I heard that y-you’re not well Komaeda-kun. And I was worried…Um if you eat a lot of salty junk food you should drink a lot too! Especially since it’s hot out. And eat healthy foods too. It’s…bad for you.”, Tsumiki’s voice went more and more silent as her frantic speech went on. Her hair almost seemed alive after she finished. ”I’m sorry!”

”Go away pig breath! No one cares about your opinion.”, Saionji’s voice dropped in pitch and she had a scary look on her face. Then with that same look she looked at Nagito. ”Right? You should call her that too you know?” Why? Should he obey Saionji then? Was this just something that people did when they were friends?

”P-pig breath?” When he said that Tsumiki burst out in tears. And he followed the suit in panic. He shouldn’t have said that! He could hear Saionji sniffle a bit too. They must've looked weird to anyone who walked past them.

 

”What’s going on?” A new voice asked. Based on the voice it was Koizumi. And her appereance made Saionji start crying too. ”Big sis!” Saionji threw herself towards Koizumi, hugging her while crying louder than Tsumiki and Nagito together.

”Hiyoko-chan? Did you bully Mikan-chan and Komaeda-kun?” Koizumi asked rather calmly an tried to untangle Saionji off her. ”N-no he called her rude things and then that bit-ouch!” Saionji wasn’t allowed to finish her sentence. Nagito started to blink his tears away. Koizumi was looking him like mom did when he did something wrong.

”If you said something bad then you have to apologize to Mikan-chan.”, her tone was serious and she looked him straight in the eyes while her hands were still trying to separate now silent Saionji off her.

Nagito looked at Tsumiki who was still sniffling and saying sorry over and over again. He felt guilt seep in to his veins. She didn’t deserve to be called mean things. ”I’m sorry Tsumiki-san…”, ah he definitely felt like crying again. He felt bad. Koizumi sighed and started to whisper something so Saionji who made an occasional outraged sound before storming off.

”Come on then Komaeda-kun. Let’s leave Mikan-chan to calm down for now.”, she took his hand and dragged him away.

 

Koizumi dragged him to the second island’s beach in silence. And even after they had arrived she was silent for a while. ”You made a mistake. But you were sorry about it and said it to Mikan-chan. There isn’t anything else you can do other than accept what she’ll do. But Mikan-chan has a kind heart so I doubt she’ll hate you for a mistake. But you can’t repeat it.”, Koizumi explained with a softly scolding tone. 

She took her camera in to her hands. ”There should be some seashells near the water. Maybe you could find few pretty ones while I take some photos?”

It was an obvious tactic to distract him. But he went to search some despite knowing that. Nagito didn’t want to ruin her well meaning idea.

He was too tired to argue against her anyway.

 

Nagito crouched over the sand. There were surprisingly many pretty seashells to find. He kinda wanted to take a pictures of the ones he wasn’t going take with him. His hoodie didn’t have enough space for all of the ones he liked. But pictures would be nice to look at too.

Nagito hummed a bit. It wasn’t a bad idea to just do what Koizumi told him to.

He could hear a scream telling him to watch out and suddenly he was submerged underwater. It had to be pure luck that he managed to keep holding his breath until he surfaced just for a moment. Nagito took a breath as he sink underwater again.

He had to stay up. He started to kick his feet rapidly. He felt panicked and it was hard to keep his eyes open. Nagito wasn’t aware about how long he struggled until a dark figure approached him. And with a fast move took a hold of him and started swimming back to the shore.

”O-owari-san?” When did she get here? And how did she even manage to swim like a bullet. 

When they reached the shore he was pulled on the sand by Koizumi and his eyes were covered by her hands. ”Akane-chan! You can’t just…go like that!”

”Why not? I had to hurry.”, Nagito could hear clothes rustling. Koizumi mumbled something about decent behavior as she took her hands off. He started to rub the salty water from his eyes and pushed his hair back to stop it from dripping more water on his face. Both Koizumi and Owari were silent. Owari was focusing on combing her hair with her fingers while Koizumi looked pale and her hair looked like she had been gripping it hard. She also had an extremely worried lok on her face. It made Nagito’s inside’s churn.

”I’m sorry. I stood too close to the water.”, he apologized fast. He should’ve known that it was a bad idea to be that close. He didn’t mix well with water when it was in pools so he should’ve known it was a bad idea to go near.

It didn’t seem to help. Koizumi looked even worse after that. ”Don’t blame yourself. It was my responsibility to make sure nothing bad happens…”, she trailed off and started to smooth her hair with a deep breath. 

”But still. I made you worry.”, Nagito insisted. When he thought about it more he could see that he had only caused trouble. He made Hinata stay up, Tsumiki had to take care of him and everyone had to look after him. Well they didn’t have to, he could be left alone but they didn’t probably know it. Nagito felt like he was a bad friend.

”Yes well you could’ve gotten hurt. But it wasn’t your fault that a wave pulled you in.”, Koizumi’s voice was back to her normal ’Don’t argue with me about this’ tone. ”Well enough about that. We should get you back to the hotel to dry off. You might get sick again.”

Nagito swallowed. He still felt like things were wrong but he couldn’t deny the appeal of dry clothes.

 

When Hinata saw drenched Komaeda with Owari and Koizumi he was very tempted to hit his head against the door frame. But the ashamed and uncomfortable look on Komaeda’s face made it clear that he shouldn’t do that. Or ask any of the questions he had without phrasing them in the kindest way he could manage.

So he just helped Komaeda to take off the wet clothes and hung them to dry while Komaeda changed in to a white t-shirt and navy blue shorts he had found at the supermarket. Well rather Ibuki forced him to go with her and he picked them up as a change of clothes before Ibuki could give him any of her ideal clothes. He couldn’t complain now that they were indeed needed.

After that Komaeda laid on the bed silently. Hinata felt awkward, he had questions but it seemed like today was not the day at all. He was tired and Komaeda was more than likely even more tired than he was.

”Hinata-san am I a bad friend?” He asked suddenly with a rather small voice. Hinata blinked in surprise, it was a weird question to ask randomly.  
”I don’t think so. What makes you think that?” A small part of him fed him an idea that perhaps he was remembering some of the things he had done before the change. But it shouldn’t be possible. Well probably not.

”I cause a lot of trouble to everyone. I haven’t really had a lot of experience so.”, Komaeda shrugged his shoulders a bit. Hinata could feel the pieces connecting. It made sense for him to think that in a way. There had been a lot of work to do on the island lately. But Komaeda didn’t know that they didn’t mind it. Since the alternative course of action would be Monokuma causing trouble. 

”I doubt anyone really minds. There are things you can’t stop from happening. And we’ve had fun too so no one’s complaining.”, except Souda but he was complaining about his finger so it didn’t count. ”So no I don’t think you’re a bad friend at all. I wouldn't really be friends with you otherwise if you were”, Hinata finished a bit awkwardly. He hadn’t really called him his friend outloud before had he?

Komaeda turned towards him with wide eyes. ”We’re really friends?” His voice sounded rather intense. Like he was asking a question about life and death.

”Well yeah?” Even if he hadn’t considered it before he could call himself Komaeda’s friend while he was in this state. He didn’t know how that would change if he changed back but for now this would do.

Hinata knew he did the right thing because Komaeda’s expression was filled with joy. And that joy melted in to a tired but serene look ”Anyway you didn’t really sleep so you should rest. I’ll read to you or something if you want.”, when Komaeda gave him a nod as an answer he picked up the nearest book.

Even if he wasn’t good at reading outloud he could still use it to ignore the worry he felt towards the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is six pages long. What the heck that's like a new personal record. 
> 
> I don't really have anything relevant to say except that I'm really making personal recors with this fic. In terms of kudos, views, amount of words I write etc.


	10. Dragonswort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pekoyama excecutes her strikes with perfection everytime.
> 
> Nagito is amazed by it.

Nagito felt refreshed. He had managed to fall asleep while Hinata had read for him and he hadn’t woken up until the next day. Granted it was before the morning announcement and Hinata was still sleeping but he was fine with it. He hadn’t dreamed about anything and that was a victory for him. The image of corpses and the constant need to make sure that he was free to speak and move bothered him enough. If he had to add anything else to it…he might not be able to handle it.

Well he wasn’t handling the other things. He just tried to stay distracted enough and push them aside. Nagito breathed out silently and slid off the bed, careful to not wake up Hinata. He wasn’t sure about how early it was but he didn’t want to stay put for long. In a way it was like his time on the island made him feel almost decade older. Nagito opened the door as silently as possible and closed it the same way. He breathed in the cool morning air. It was nice to feel a bit cooler weather for once. 

He decided to head towards the Jabberwock park. The sky was dyed orange and while the beach must be an amazing sight he wasn’t comfortable with going near beach of any kind. So the park would do.

 

Nagito shivered a bit. His idea to go for a walk and enjoy the sunrise was good. Except that despite knowing that no one on the island was dangerous he couldn’t stop the suffocating anxiety that someone would grab him from behind. It was stupid because it was only a dream. And he wasn’t alone at all. Hinata would notice he was gone, his parents would know and so would everyone else on the island.

So why couldn’t he shake the feeling? Nothing was wrong, he was fine. Nothing bad would happen. Except that a tree could fall on him, he might trip and hit his head on a rock. Something deadly might bite him.

Or maybe...?

”I’m sorry to tell you but we found……..And stage three fronto….”, he was hearing things. His eyes were closed and his mind buzzed with static. Someone was laughing. Not a happy laugh but a breathy and hollow sound. After the laughter died down to small chuckles he could hear the other familiar voice ask. ”How long?”

”Komaeda?” Nagito felt his head snap up when someone called his name. He was on his knees on the somewhat wet grass. He was panting heavily and his eyes focused on the figure slowly. ”P-pekoyama-san?” Now that he had his vision back he could see that he had ended up in the park. And that the shinai that was usually not visible was being held in Pekoyama’s left hand.

 

She must’ve been practicing then. She seemed to notice him looking at the sword. ”I tend to practice early in the morning.”, she seemed to be thinking about something. ”I won’t ask why you’re here alone or what just happened if you don’t want me to. But you’re free to stay and watch.”, with that she moved a good distance away from him. Probably to make sure he wouldn’t get hit accidentally.

Nagito moved from his knees to just sitting down. He was wearing the white shorts but he couldn’t bring himself to care about someone scolding him. She was offering him a distraction and a chance to talk if he wanted to.

Not that he did but it was nice.

 

Pekoyama slid her left foot behind, keeping her heel above the ground as the right one was in front with the knee bend a bit. She lifted the shinai up to her side vertically and took a few steps straight without lifting her feet. On the final step she seemed to unsheathe the shinai and pointed it towards an invisible opponent as she twisted her left leg and kneeled for a short while before rising back up. Then she moved five short steps backwards.

Nagito observed every single detail he could. There were a lot of things to note and it proved to be an extremely good way to stop thinking other things. Suddenly Pekoyama slid forwards and with a snap struck the air with the shinai. She repeated the same movement backwards and then forwards. Nagito didn’t bother counting how many times she did it until she stopped and started again, this time letting the sword fall lower. After the stopped that she took a bit to shake her shoulders and loosen her grip.

Then she started again. Her strike was similar to the first one but before it ’connected’ she tilted her sword so that the side with the cord was turned her left. And she didn’t repeat the same strike backwards. She just took a step back and adjusted her position before striking forward again. 

Nagito couldn’t tell how long he had watched her. It felt like she could continue one style of strikes forever. And she wasn’t even taking long breaks between them. It was amazing. Pekoyama stopped and finally paused for longer than barely a minute. But she wasn’t clearly done with the practice. She moved back and left plenty of space in front of her. Then she struck forward with a stomp and immediately after that took a short step and struck higher. The only pause between the strikes was when she seemed to fall back in to the default posture before starting again, moving forward with each strike.

 

Nagito could see the sun shine in the blade-no he couldn’t because bamboo didn’t reflect shine like that. He shook himself a bit. It was possible that she knew iaido too but there was no way she would carelessly swing a real sword around.

”Peko-chan~ Ibuki’s looking for Nagito-chan!” An energetic voice called from a distance. The sudden and loud voice must’ve startled Pekoyama mid strike because her leg twisted and she fell down.

Nagito stood up fast enough to feel dizzy because of it. It looked like it was painful and he could see Pekoyama grimace in pain as she tried to move her feet.

 

Time froze and he couldn’t breathe. There was nothing wrong with the air but it was heavy with discomfort. 

”Senpai I almost pity you. ”, ah her voice. That voice that could bend in so many different ways all while hiding the underlaying despair from the unsuspecting people who couldn’t recognize it. Of course he could hear it clear as day. He was the sworn enemy of despair and her enemy as well.

”Really look at you. Clinging on to life even though you’re on death’s door. Are you trying to find someone to love you?” She leaned forward, lowering her voice. ”You don’t need any of that. This Despair is all you need.” 

Komaeda swallowed even though his mouth was dry. ”I won’t fall in despair.”, even though he said that he could still hear Yukizome’s screams of pain. She had been a good teacher, filled with hope and nice to even a vermin like him. But she was gone now. What was left of her wasn’t worth considering hopeful at all.

The girl put her hand on his shoulder, perfect red nails shining in the light as she pulled his ear next to her mouth to whisper the words. ”Too late.”

He was somewhere different in a snap. The sky was red and everything was in ruins. When he looked down to his hands they were red too. Red with someone’s blood. 

Komaeda tried to move the hand that was more bloody but it didn’t respond to him. Like it wasn’t his hand at all. He used his other hand to touch it but he couldn’t feel a thing. He couldn’t control the sudden urge to laugh. 

This hand was going to make him feel closer to her. To his sworn enemy whose death he couldn’t cause in the end.

But that was fine. There were other ways.

 

A sharp pull interrupted him. ”Komaeda! Komaeda listen to me! Snap out of it you’re hurting yourself!”

Hinata? 

”I’m going to take you back to the cottage okay?”

He couldn’t answer. His body felt like static, there was cotton in his brain and mouth and every time he managed to pull himself back to together enough to notice where they were heading he snapped right back in to the stream of flashing images. 

At some point he realized that he was sitting on something soft but that thought moved aside to a different thought. A realization that he should’ve had a long time ago.

”H-hinata-san?” He must’ve sounded horrible. ”I’m really lucky right?” He could hear Hinata make a surprised noise. He didn’t wait for any other response. ”I have to be. Yoshi died but I was right behind her but she was the one who got hurt. That’s lucky. I won against Nanami-san even though she is the best gamer right? But other people aren’t lucky. So they get hurt or maybe…” His breath came out even more frantic and he squeezed his wrist even tighter. His brain seemed to feed him the correct words and fill in the blanks. 

”It’s a cycle! If…if I’m happy then others get hurt Hinata-kun!” He let go of his wrist and started pulling his hair. ”That’s why you get hurt! I noticed Souda-san’s finger! And Pekoyama-san got hurt just now!” He let out a sob as a feeling of not belonging in his body came. ”That’s why mom and dad haven’t gotten me yet. They realized that I’m too dangerous! Or maybe...or maybe their head really were crushed!” He wanted to do nothing more than laugh hysterically even as he started to feel like he belonged again. 

Hinata could only stare in horror at Komaeda. When he had heard that Pekoyama had sprained her leg and that someone might want to get Komaeda he hadn’t excepted to find him on the ground, holding his wrist tightly an muttering to himself. Or had he excepted that he would start screaming and crying to him all of a sudden. All that stuff about luck…he hadn’t mentioned it before. So what had made him go off like this? Komaeda stopped making noise, his expression forced to be devoid of emotion. ”It’s fine. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. I’m fine with being alone.”

No, it was wrong of Hinata to say that he wasn’t showing any emotion. Komaeda’s eye were filled with despair. 

”Listen, nobody will die.”, not again. They couldn’t allow it to happen. ”And I doubt that anyone would abandon you.” Hinata wasn’t as sure about that as he wanted to be but he couldn’t admit it. His words felt weak though.

Komaeda’s despair filled eyes locked in to his and narrowed in a way that he hadn’t seen in a while. ”You, you got that wrong Hinata-kun.”

Those were the only words he got out before he collapsed and fell off the bed with a loud thump.

 

Hinata was alone in the restaurant drinking orange juice. It was pretty pathetic when he thought about it. But he needed to be alone and think for a while. After Komaeda had collapsed he had tried to wake him but he didn’t succeed. So he had to bother Tsumiki once again and she wasn’t able to do anything either other than tell him that nothing was physically wrong.

All he could do was wait and think about the things he had said. His luck, people getting hurt and the fact that the dreams must connect to all of it in some way. Hinata felt like he might get a headache from all the thinking he had to do. If any of it was accurate then he might have a small understanding of why Komaeda wasn’t the most stable person.  
The amount of questions he had that could only be answered by Komaeda was huge. But he couldn’t ask them from Komaeda until he woke up and even then he might not be able to.  
Hinata let his head hit the table. Nothing was easy these days. He would go back in few hours after he perhaps spend some time with someone like Mioda.

 

Komaeda woke up slowly. The moment he opened his eyes and looked above him he was surprised. He was in his cottage and not in the old lodge? Had Nidai and Souda decided to not leave him there to wake up? Or had someone else found him and felt pity?

He couldn’t really wrap his head around the idea so he was content with looking at the ceiling for a while. At some point he should get up, shower and perhaps eat something. Komaeda’s musing was interrupted by a soft groan next to him.

He froze. Someone was next to him and he hadn’t even noticed? It was weird. Logically speaking perhaps Nidai or Souda had decided to keep and eye on him and fell asleep. But he also wished that it was someone else. Someone like him shouldn’t be allowed to have a preference really but-  
Komaeda shook his head and then turned it towards the mystery person. Brown hair with a weird antenna? The voice that left him might be considered a squeak.

”Hinata-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear~ It seems like the memories were a sign. Also if you felt uncomfortable with Junko then yea. Same. But you bet that I'm denying the dr3 way of falling in to despair.
> 
> I wonder what's going to happen next?
> 
> Also!! Because it's christmas and I'm gonna take some time to plan the second half with care feel free to throw some komahina prompts you might have at me to my tumblr. I'll try to write a few of them. 
> 
> http://satsumiya.tumblr.com/
> 
> _______  
> And from this point on there is just me rambling about kendo. 
> 
>  
> 
> In the end kendo wasn't the biggest focus but I got what I wanted. I won't claim that my info is 100% accurate but anyway. Here's some info. The shinai is held in the left hand with the string side down so that when you move to kamae the string side is up. The side without the string is the blade. 
> 
> Kamae is the position where you slide your left foot back and keep the heel up. The heel of the right foot is also a bit raised. And you have your shinai pointing the throat of a(imaginary or real) opponent of same size. But you should keep yourself loose and not grip the shinai tightly. This is how you begin each strike and the position where you return in the end usually. Very important.
> 
> When you do suburi(the strikes. There are a lot.) you usually use okuri-ashi. It's when you slide your right foot and slide your left foot back to kamae with a 'snap' kind of movement. You also strike the shinai at the same time but I have hard time describing how to do it.
> 
> The suburi that Pekoyama does here are Men, which is the strike to the head. Kote, which is the strike to the wrist(basically men but you lower your arms to be kinda straight. In men they're straight but obviously aimed higher.)  
> The third one is do. It's aimed towards the side and you have to turn the shinai so that the 'blade' is the one that cuts. I don't think we've ever done it in front and back. Instead we always strike forward and go back to kamae and do it again.
> 
> The last part is Kotemen with tobikomi. Basically you stomp with your right foot as you strike, snap your left foot back to position and then hit men normally. 
> 
> Also in kendo you have to do kiai. Basically you either count in japanese(1-10) or yell what you're striking. So basically men, kote and do. She didn't because I doubt she would. Alone at least.
> 
> And this concludes my lesson about what Pekoyama did during the chapter.


	11. Betony, Begonia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not usual to wake up next to another person without memories on how you got there.
> 
> Well not to Komaeda at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emetophobia warning for the end of this chapter. I guess?

After dealing with his luck for his whole life Komaeda could hardly be bothered with things that flustered other people. And at some point he had stopped reacting to usual things too. But in his current situation it was no wonder that he felt like all his blood had went straight to his face. Even if he didn’t remember how he got in bed with Hinata he was quite sure that nothing weird had happened. 

After getting over the shock Komaeda took a small breath and slipped out of the bed as silently as he could. He needed to think and figure out the reason behind this. And waking up Hinata wasn’t going to help it nor was it something he had any right to do. Not to mention we couldn’t get any thinking done while he was still in Hinata’s…or his own cottage? Komaeda looked around in the dark as well as he could and after noticing the lack of urns decided that it was Hinata’s cottage.

It made things easier. Staying outside until the morning announcement didn’t sound too pleasant. Komaeda interrupted his distracting thoughts and headed out before he got distracted again. 

Komaeda slipped out of the cottage and closed the door behind him carefully before looking around. No one was out, the sky was dark and he doubted that anyone would be coming out anytime soon. His classmates would be too afraid to walk in the dark night. The trial had only just happened after all and they needed to digest it. To fully feel the hope that bloomed from such a case! Even if it had fallen a bit flat in the end it was still something!

Actually to think about it more carefully, perhaps he had been with Hinata because they thought to lock him up? But it didn’t make sense why they’d make him be with someone else instead of tying him up and leaving him laying somewhere. Not that he wanted it. Even if it was awkward to wake up next to another boy it was still the better option. And it was lucky that it had been Hinata and not Nidai or Tanaka. They might be symbols of hope but…their personalities were a bit much? Not that his wretched personality was any better but they were tolerable on small amounts!

Komaeda blinked in surprise, he hadn’t really thought that before had he? Maybe he had gotten used to them then? Anyway…

Hinata had been nice company and the similar aura that emitted from him made his company better. And his hope certainly shone during the trial! But it also meant that he was going to continue his life as a stepping stone without Hinata’s company. Oh well it had been fun while it lasted and it was better to be cut short after all. Even if it caused a small pang of pain. The small amount of time they spend together shouldn’t have made him feel this bad about the very likely hatred the other felt towards him. But his brain was what it was. 

Komaeda sighed and started to head towards his own cottage. He might as well try and sleep some more. He couldn’t make sense of his thoughts at this rate.

 

Komaeda woke up to Monokuma’s annoying voice with a small groan. When he had arrived to his cottage he had planned to maybe take a shower and then go to sleep. Instead he discovered that his cottage was dusty like he hadn’t cleaned it in a while. So he had to wipe the dust off from everything and then take a shower. Komaeda planned to clean the rest in the morning but even the small amount of cleaning took a while. So in the end he had went to sleep an hour before the morning announcement.

At least the cleaning kept him from thinking about his situation with Hinata too much. But now he had to figure out why his cottage was dusty in the first place. He had cleaned it well enough. Unless he remembered wrong and he hadn’t done a thing.

It was something that could happen of course. Someone like him wouldn’t have a proper ability to remember doing such a simple thing like cleaning after himself.

Komaeda couldn’t help but to shiver a bit. He had taken off his jacket and forgotten to pull the covers over himself. Which meant that he was freezing. Putting the jacket back on helped to warm his arms but his hands were going to be cold for a while. And he was almost tempted to just stay and crawl under the covers for a while like the cockroach he was but he had a ’mystery’ to solve.

And he should eat something before he started on that.

 

By the time Komaeda arrived to the restaurant his hands had warmed back to their usual temperature. And he actually felt like eating a piece of toast and perhaps some fruit with it. I was a bit more unusual feeling to him. Usually he was fine with eating some toast just for the sake of eating something in the morning. During the day he did of course eat lunch and dinner. 

Komaeda stepped inside the noisy restaurant. It seemed like most of his classmates were in there with few missing. The moment he stepped in everyone’s heads turned towards him and the whole room quieted. Komaeda could feel a sense of deja vu.

It was normal of course that his presence silenced them. He didn’t doubt for a second that he might’ve ruined the mood. It was something that he apparently did a lot. The staring continued and Komaeda waved his hand with a smile. ”Don’t mind me. I’m just leaving.”, it was better to leave and pick something from the Rocket punch market instead. He had already ruined the seemingly good mood so the least he could do was to remove his presence.

Just as he was about to leave someone started dragging him away from behind. For a moment Komaeda froze and tried to pull his hand free from the strong grip. He snapped his head to see who was doing it. It was Hinata, Komaeda let out a small breath he didn’t even notice he was holding. He looked him for a bit, paling a bit when their eyes met. ”Yeah you’re going to eat in the diner with me Komaeda.”

Not that he had a chance to object because Hinata was holding his hand rather tightly. The moment they excited the restaurant the talking begun again. This time louder and more frantic. His presence really had affected them strongly.

.

Hinata hadn’t said anything else to him. Instead they were walking rather fast to a diner? But the last time he checked there wasn’t a diner on the islands. Then it hit him. Hinata was going to kill him. It made sense. He had a motive to do it. It also explained why he had woken up in his cottage without any memory on how he got there. After he had been knocked out by Nidai and Souda they had left him lying there. And Hinata had noticed them exiting and went to look why they were in the old lodge and found him. So he had carried him in to his cottage, perhaps planning to pretend that he has just preventing another murder by keeping him safe if he was seen. After all Hinata had been very helpful with the trial and he certainly didn’t seem the type to kill. 

And then he just had to kill him in a way that couldn’t be linked to him and do something to his body. And if it failed like it did then no one would be wiser about Hinata’s true motives with him.

Komaeda let out a breathy laugh. The plan was flawed beyond belief. But while Hinata was rather smart he might’ve been blinded by his anger towards him. It was a shame that Hinata wasn’t likely to ask him to create a successful murder. Even if he didn’t want to die by Hinata’s hand.  
He didn’t…what?

”Hey were here. You phased out again Komaeda.”, Hinata’s voice broke him away from his thoughts. He looked at him with worried eyes. ”Do I even want to know why you were laughing?” 

Komaeda looked around them a bit. They were on a parking lot in a place that he hadn’t visited before. There was indeed a diner in front of them too.  
Komaeda stared him. If he was going to kill him now then he was sure to be caught. Everyone knew who he was with. ”Your plan isn’t going to work Hinata-kun.”, he stated softly. To be a stepping stone for Hinata’s hope…it wasn’t a bad thing. It was a good thing as long as it worked. 

”My plan? To talk to you while eating?” Now he sounded confused. Komaeda laughed again. ”Your plan to kill me Hinata-kun.”

After he said that Hinata let go of his hand fast and took a step back. ”I’m not going to kill you!” He spat out the sentence with disgust. Komaeda ignored the fact that Hinata was taking quite a few steps away from him. It was easy to see that Hinata was repulsed by him. Most likely repulsed enough to leave and return to the hotel. 

Hinata closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. He was mumbling something to himself and then he opened the diner’s door. ”Just…go in and let’s eat. I can’t deal with this when I’m hungry.”

Komaeda was confused. He couldn’t understand Hinata’s motive at all unless he planned to poison his food. But with his luck Hinata would defiantly eat the poison himself.  
Right, he had to look out for that too. 

Hinata let out a exparated sigh as he moved to push Komaeda inside the diner straight to the nearest empty table. ”Just sit there while I go and find food. Souda said that everything’s ready and you just have to find what you want.”, and with that Hinata started to look for food, still mumbling to himself with annoyed tone.

 

When Hinata had seen Komaeda standing in the restaurant his heart stopped. His heart had already stopped for a bit when he noticed that he was missing again. Which is why he had went to search for him with Nanami, Koizumi, Sonia and Souda. He had returned to eat something quickly and check if the others had seen Komaeda.  
Instead he found Komaeda. Just not the one he was searching for. 

It had been an impulse decision to grab him and go to the diner. But the others looked like they had just witnessed a murder. Or a wannabe murderer who had been a child just few hours ago. And now he was serving pancakes to said person. The same person who had clearly thought that he was going to kill him. And the same person who was staring the pancakes in front of him with a confused expression.

”Just eat them they’re not poisoned.” Hinata grimaced a bit, it was probably a valid thought in Komaeda’s mind ”Besides I doubt that you can afford skipping meals. You’re too skinny.”

Hinata almost laughed at the shocked expression on Komaeda’s face. He stopped himself mostly because he didn’t want to show how nervous he was. And he wasn’t even sure if he had fully registered the new situation yet. But here he was fussing over Komaeda’s eating.

Well not that he said anything untrue. He hadn’t noticed how ridiculously unhealthy the other looked. Being skinny was one thing but combine it with pale skin and tangled white hair. Yeah Komaeda wasn’t the poster child of healthy looks.

”Hinata-kun you’re staring.”, Komaeda said suddenly, seemingly uncomfortable with his intense staring. ”Not that I complain you’re free to stare someone like me!” And he took it back instantly. Hinata counted to ten before he even tried to think of an answer.

”I was thinking. Your hair isn’t really white is it?” To him it was obvious now that he had seen Komaeda as a child. But he was quite sure that Komaeda didn’t remember a thing. Otherwise he would’ve at least hinted at it.

”My hair…? That’s a weird topic to be interested in Hinata-kun. But you’re right.”, Komaeda confirmed and smiled a bit before eating some of the pancakes. 

”Did you dye it?” Honestly with Komada’s fashion he wouldn’t be too surprised but there was evidence against it. ”No wait. Your roots are lighter color but the tips are different color. So it just grew like that?” Hinata wasn’t sure if that was possible. It looked different from the usual grey hair one would except. 

He had interrupted Komaeda in the middle of a bite. He looked surprisingly uncomfortable with the topic. ”Right again Hinata-kun. It’s fitting that someone like me has hair to fit my status of course.”, even the…normal self-deprecation felt a bit off.

”I see.”, there was a story behind it probably. But while he may be the closest person to Komaeda that wasn’t saying much. ”Well, I guess it suits you.”  
Hinata ignored the small amount of color on Komaeda’s face and focused on his own food. It was hard to imagine what he’d look like with auburn hair. No it was almost surreal to imagine him like that. The white hair seemed to match with rest of his appearance. Even if that sounded rather wrong to him.

Neither of them started another conversation. They just ate their pancakes in silence. 

 

After they had finished their breakfast Hinata dragged Komaeda with him towards the beach. Hinata had been tempted to just leave and spend the rest of his free time with someone else. But he didn’t dare to leave Komaeda alone. Not when he was sure that the other had absolutely no memory of the time they had spent together. Which meant that he was essentially the same Komaeda who they couldn’t trust. The person who he didn’t understand in the slightest.

It was easy to get Komaeda to follow him too. He didn’t fight back and just looked at him like he was the weird one. Maybe he was since right now he should hate Komaeda. But he couldn’t feel the right emotions. Instead of hate he just felt curious. 

”Ah hello Kuzuryuu-san.”

Hinata stopped and looked behind himself. Komaeda waved to Kuzuryuu who was carrying a transparent plastic bag filled with food. Hinata nodded to him as a greeting. Kuzuryuu stopped for a moment to look at them with shock before walking away with rather long steps.

”Well he didn’t yell or threaten us. I’d say that’s something.”, Komaeda stated as they continued their walk. This time without Hinata having to drag him.

Hinata didn’t except Kuzuryuu to do those things right now. ”Well he must be worried about Pekoyama. You don’t know this but she sprained her ankle badly. According to Tsumiki Kuzuryuu ran to Pekoyama and was the one who helped her to her cottage. It seems like they actually know each other.”, Hinata explained. He hadn’t even thought about all the other ’drama’ on the island the whole morning.

Komaeda looked at him and then looked at the sky. ”It’s interesting to hear just what you can miss while sleeping.” Hinata coughed uncomfortably. ”I guess so.” It seemed like Komaeda wasn’t aware about the sleeping arrangements either. Hinata was thankful about that. It would’ve been horribly awkward to explain why they were sleeping in the same bed.

”Well Hinata-kun we’re here. Did you have anything in mind? Something involving the water perhaps?” Komaeda inquired with a serene smile. Hinata felt like cursing. For a moment he thought that they could spend time without Komaeda mentioning murder. He might as well fire a bullet against the very idea of it not happening. He took a deep breath, prepared to explain that no he wasn’t going to kill him and could he perhaps not mention it when he heard Nidai yelling about shit and running towards them.

An idea came to Hinata. A nice idea to pay back to Komaeda. ”Oi Nidai! I think Komaeda needs a ride back to the hotel!” He was grinning widely now. He could see Nidai responding to his grin too. Hinata looked over at Komaeda who was staring him. Then he turned towards Nidai who was looming over them. ”I don’t need one Nidai-ku-”, his sentence was cut off when Nidai threw him over his shoulder with ease and started running full speed.

Hinata could manage to catch a glimpse of the look of utter betrayal on Komaeda’s face before his face turned green and he turned his face towards the ground.

Hinata couldn’t help but to start laughing at the absurd scene he managed to cause.

 

Komaeda was ready to throw up when he was finally let down by Nidai. And after Nidai apologized about knocking him out while he patted him on the back so hard that he tasted vomit Komaeda was just ready to crawl to the pool and be done with it. But he did his best to wave Nidai’s concerns off with a strained smile. Mostly because he didn’t want to even imagine what he’d do if he didn’t convince him that he wasn’t going to drop dead.

Speaking of which. He might actually be dead. It was the only thing that could explain Hinata’s almost friendly behavior and what Nidai did. Or maybe he was hallucinating.  
He didn’t have too much time to think about it as he wobbled over to the nearest bush and promptly threw up.

It didn’t matter what kind of unrealistic scenario he was living through. If hinting towards Hinata killing him resulted in this he wasn’t going to say a thing. He wouldn’t be able to endure another ride like that.

The decision sat weirdly in his stomach. Or it might’ve just been the result of his current predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took a while to write. But here it is once again. 
> 
> You know for a fact that the moment Ibuki ran and yelled that Pekoyama got hurt Kuzuryuu was there before anyone else even managed to move.


	12. Yellow rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda enjoyed the nice and calming breeze that came through the window.

After Komaeda finished emptying his stomach and spending a short amount of time gathering himself he went back to his cottage. The moment he was in he went and washed his face and mouth. He was lucky that no one else saw him and started asking questions. He wasn’t feeling up to it.

Komaeda sighed slowly and opened a window for fresh air. Laying down for a while with open window sounded great. He wouldn’t probably even get sick since he certainly had had enough bad luck to allow him the small joy of an open window.

When he was laying down his bed he could relax for a bit and think about how odd Nidai and Hinata had been. Perhaps he could understand Hinata’s behavior since he must feel betrayed and want closure. And while it was weird Komaeda decided that he wouldn’t complain if Hinata continued like that up to a certain limit of course. He wasn’t bad company. And when it came to Nidai he could still somewhat accept it. But he was going to avoid him as much as he could.

Komaeda settled it at that and closed his eyes. The slight breeze felt nice.

 

”Hey big bro Komaeda who gave you the permission to laze around?” A childish voice asked with some malice. Komaeda almost let out an annoyed groan but controlled himself. Of course his luck wouldn’t allow the small joys. He opened his eyes and walked over to the open window. 

Saionji was outside with Koizumi. He wondered what they wanted from him. Komaeda gave a wide smile at them as a greeting. ”I’m sorry Saionji-san, Koizumi-san. I didn’t know I was needed somewhere. I’ll be ready in a bit if you tell me where to go.”, he was quite sure that he didn’t sound as sincere as he would’ve liked. He had no right to be annoyed of course. 

Koizumi stared at him and silenced Saionji before she could start talking again. ”No that’s not it. Monomi mentioned that you threw up in one of the bushes and she sounded worried.” 

Saionji snickered and most likely insulted him under her breath. Probably something about him being a gross pig. ”Ah I’m sorry about the mess. I’ll go clean it up of course.”, he should’ve done it as soon as he had stopped throwing up. It was obvious that he should’ve done it first and then rest. But the thought of doing the opposite had sounded correct at that time.

Koizumi’s face became stern. ”Too late, Monomi started cleaning already. Besides if you’re sick you should be resting and not cleaning.”, she lectured and pointed her finger at him. ”So don’t think about sneaking out or anything.”

It was becoming a thing for him to ignore what Saionji did honestly. He was ignoring her badly hidden laughter while he was being lectured like a child. ”I’m not sick though Koizumi-san. Hinata-kun had Nidai-kun carry me back here.” 

Koizumi pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. ”So Hinata pranked you? And you threw up?” She questioned. Komaeda tilted his head to the side slightly. He wasn’t sure if it was something that was considered a prank. He had never been good at identifying those.

Koizumi sighed and crossed her arms. ”Yes well I doubt that rest would be a bad idea.”, she stated and took a step back. ”Let’s go Hiyoko-chan.”

 

Saionji smiled and weaved her arm around Koizumi’s arm. It would probably be nice if she was like that to everyone. But also extremely unsettling thing to even imagine. ”Goodbye Koizumi-san, Saionji-san.”, Komaeda said with a cheery tone and leaned out from the window. 

 

”Call me onee-sama!” Saionji yelled at him and based on the sounds started walking away with Koizumi. He scratched his arm as he decided to not question why she’d want him to call her that.

He really needed a nap.

 

A loud knock woke him up from his nap. Komaeda let out a groan and slowly made his way to the door. Before he opened it he straightened his back with audible cracking noises. He opened the door with a tired smile. His smile twitched slightly as he saw that Hinata was the one behind the door. He glanced a the plastic bag he was carrying. ”Hello Hinata-kun. What brings you here?” He almost winced at how hoarse his voice sounded from sleep.

”Look I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t know you’d throw up. If I knew I wouldn't have told Nidai to do it.”, Hinata apologized hastily and offered the plastic bag at him. ”I have food since I doubt you ate and what I said earlier still stands. So if you want to have dinner together I could make it up to you?” Hinata wasn’t looking him. ”Or you can eat alone! Your choice.”, he added hastily. 

Komaeda hadn’t been mad at Hinata. But if he wanted to spend time with him he could oblige. 

”Spending time with you isn’t bad at all Hinata-kun. I could never refuse something a symbol of hope like you proposed.”, he had no right to after all. He stepped back so Hinata could come in. 

Hinata stared at him and rubbed the back of his neck. ”Yeah okay.”

 

Komaeda looked back at his bed. The sheets were a bit wrinkled but he had slept on top of them so they were presentable. Hinata didn’t seem to care as he went and sat on the bed and placed the bag on it too. ”I’m not exactly sure about what you liked so I brought fried rice.”, he took the containers and utensils out of the bag. 

He was fine with most foods as long as they’re not sweet. ”It’s fine Hinata-kun.”, he sat down and took the container and opened it. The food was still warm. And the taste was pretty good too.  
They ate in awkward silence once again. But in a way company, even if it was awkward was better than no company at all.

 

”So your luck. How does it work? You’re in a situation like this so isn’t it unlucky?” Hinata questioned. It seemed like he has quite a few questions for him. He could talk about his luck of course. ”If my luck was like that then yes. But my luck has a quite different edge to it. Misfortunes like this don’t matter when even better good luck is sure to follow them. That’s why seeing all of you symbols of hope participate in the game! I couldn’t be more excited for the resulting luck!” He threw his hands in the air. It was always so impossible to control how excited he felt about it.

”So…it’s a cycle then?” Komaeda snapped his head towards Hinata. He hadn’t expected him to get it. In a way he hoped that he would but the fact that Hinata actually got it absolutely correct was…

”Amazing! Hinata-kun you’re correct about that!” Hinata stared at him with eyebrow raised. ”You make it sound like you thought I wasn’t going to get it. I mean it’s complicated but I made a lucky guess.” Hinata let out a small laughter. Komaeda could understand the accidental joke. ”It’s not that I doubt your intelligence. It’s just not common occurrence.”, he explained. Perhaps this was the result of his earlier troubles. No, it most likely was. Komaeda flexed his fingers slowly. The stiffness that came from keeping them still for a long time was annoying to deal with. 

 

He turned his head towards the still open window. The sky was showing hints of orange but the sun wasn’t going to set any time soon. Komaeda wondered what Hinata might like to do. They had finished eating and he had answered the question about his luck. He should try to make some conversation too right?

”Hinata-kun what would you do if you got off this island?” That was a good question. And rather normal too. 

Or not. Hinata looked more annoyed by it than anything else. ”If this is your way of starting to talk about killing someone again I’m not interested.”, he said rather coldly. Komaeda blinked and raised his hands to convey surrounding. ”No no nothing like that Hinata-kun. Just imagine it happened without anything unpleasant being involved.”

After he heard that Hinata slumped a bit and sighed in relief. ”I’d probably just go home and sleep. Then I think I’d have to work with some authorities to find the person behind this. And contact Hope’s peak of course. And start going to school too I guess. After that? Graduation, settling down and just using whatever my talent is to better the world.” 

It may have sounded normal but there was obvious ambition behind Hinata’s words. He had been right to think of them the same. Hinata wanted to create hope with his talent. Komaeda might lack the ability to cause such thing to happen himself but he could help Hinata if he was allowed to.

 

Not that he could, if a situation where Hinata was off the island came to be. ”So what about you Komaeda? What would you do?”

Komaeda hummed and scratched his neck. ”I don’t know Hinata-kun. I doubt I would do much.” He doubted he’d get off the island at all. He’d most likely die in one way or another. But if he didn’t then he’d get back to mainland and most likely spend the rest of his time alone. That was something that he wasn’t going to tell Hinata. 

”Huh.”Hinata seemed to accept his answer without pestering him further. It worked in his favor. 

 

Komaeda stifled a yawn. It was pathetic that he was exhausted even after resting for a long time. But the feeling of fatigue was persistent. And hard to hide because Hinata started to gather the things he brought in the bag. It was obvious that he was going to leave now that he knew that he was tired. Hinata stood up and rattled the plastic bag a bit. ”Yeah, I can’t believe I’m saying this really but I didn’t have a bad time. But it’s late and I still have to take these to the restaurant. And you’re tired. So bye.”

Komaeda raised his eyebrows a bit. None of that felt necessary to say to him. ”We can talk anytime right?” There was no need say anything else than goodbye’s. Hinata looked at him over his shoulder from the open door. ”Yeah we can.”

And then he was left alone in the silence.

 

Hinata sighed deeply after he had gotten a good distance away from Komaeda’s cottage. It had been weird to spend time with him so normally. He knew what Komaeda was capable of but the time he spend with the child Komaeda made him feel different. Perhaps it was just because time had passed or because he had gotten time to think. But he couldn’t deny his changed out look but he couldn’t deny the person Komaeda was.

It was hard. So it was a blessing to hear Mioda calling for him and running to him in a blurry of colors. ”Hajime-chan! Good eve-nyan!” Mioda greeted him with that same comfortable energy as usual.

”Why nyan?” He wouldn't have said the word if anyone else was around. Mioda’d eyes seemed to glow after hearing his dull way of saying nyan. ”Ibuki is trying a new gimmick! Cat girls are popular yes?”

Hinata didn’t even want to know. ”But Hajime-chan has something far more important to tell. Ibuki has been dying to know where Hajime-chan went with the fried rice!” Yeah, based on the look on her face she could’ve probably pop a vein if she had to wait more.

”I was with Komaeda.”, he didn’t have time to say anything else because Mioda gasped loudly. ”With Nagito-chan? Was he nice? Could Ibuki go and try to create songs using him? Weirdness is good for songs!” She pointed him with an intense look on her face. Hinata stared at the finger. ”He was alright.”

That was neutral enough to say. But it might’ve been the wrong thing to tell her because moment later Mioda was running away while proclaiming that the next day she’d be writing new songs.

Hinata decided to walk away so he would be back to his cottage before it was midnight or something. 

 

He also chose to ignore the argument Monokuma and Monomi were having. It was too late in the evening to get mixed up with that stuff.

 

Perhaps it would’ve been better if Hinata had listened in. Monokuma couldn’t deny that he would’ve have fun. He needed it after all that hard reprogramming. 

What he didn’t need was Monomi’s yapping. ”Shut up will ya? Not even the big shot cares enough to write your dialogue.”

Monomi sniffed and pulled her ears before straightening herself. ”But we still won against you! You’re not an impossible opponent!” She seemed more proud too. Monokuma sniggered.

”Winning a fight using a cheat isn’t winning. The damage wasn’t enough. New motive here and there. These kids are colder than ice they’ll be ready to kill in a heartbeat.”, his eye glowed. ”The only permanent damage done was done to you guys.”

Monokuma started laughing and waddled if with unstable steps due to the amount of laughter.

 

Had Monomi been anything with lungs she would’ve sighed. But she was filled with fluffy stuffing and love and no lungs. ”We won’t let you win! I believe in my dear students!” Her voice carried towards the setting sun. No one was around but she knew that she was heard. Then with much smaller voices he couldn’t help but to add. ”I just hope it was enough.”

After she was gone the sun had set and the darkness arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm worry this took so long! My charger broke so I didn't have enough time to finish this before my laptop died. But it's here.
> 
> I'll try to get the next one out fast.
> 
> See ya next time~


	13. Cosmos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda gets an unusual wake up call.

A loud bang interrupted his sleep and Komaeda sat up in a flash. It took even shorter time to focus his thoughts enough to know where he was and what the bang could possibly mean.

Someone was finally going to kill him? And do a bad job at not getting caught too.

”Gooooooood moorning Nagito-chan!”

Or it was just Mioda being her usual self. Which he had mixed feelings about. She must need something from him and he had to oblige of course. But on the other hand she had just most likely broken his door.

”Good morning Mioda-san. Do you need something?” His voice was hoarse and he felt rather gross in the moment but it had to do for now. Hopefully he’d have a chance to drink and shower first. Mioda tilted her head to her side and stared at him. ”Did Nagito-chan have a shower?”

Komaeda cringed mentally. He knew that he tended to occasionally have a bit of a problem during the night. It was something one got used to after few months but he’d rather avoid anyone else knowing about it. ”I doubt that’s important now Mioda-san. I’m more curious on why you broke in.”

Based on how her face lightened up he had managed to dodge the question enough. ”Well you see I was talking with Hajime-chan yesterday. And Ibuki needs new different song ideas!” She explained passionately, making different hand gestures as she spoke. Komaeda wasn’t sure how he could help but he would. ”Well then. I suppose I can help. But before that.”, he paused for a second. ”Would you mind leaving for a moment?” He needed to dress up, drink something and shower a bit. And he wasn’t sure about how Mioda’s concept of privacy worked.

”Oh Nagito-chan is going to do something weird?” She sounded amused and horrified at the same time. If he hadn’t seen and heard enough weird things in his life then he might be shocked.

But he didn’t feel startled in the slightest. ”Mioda-san...”, he was ready to ask her again. ”Ibuki was just teasing!” She went out and left the broken door as closed as it would go. Komaeda let out a huge sigh and started to prepare for a long morning.

 

”What kind of music does Nagito-chan even listen?” Mioda asked while pushing blank, half written and full papers away from her. She came prepared to say the least. Komaeda frowned, he hadn’t thought about what he listened too deeply. ”I doubt you’d be interested in my trash taste in music Mioda-san.”, some of the songs with no words were certainly…not your average music. Mioda looked even more interested by his words. ”Does Nagito-chan have an Ipod or something? Ibuki wants to look! It’s inspiration.” She started bouncing excitedly. Komaeda decided to surrender and started to dig around his drawers to find his music player. He hadn’t used it ever since he arrived on the island. It was easy to find though. Once he opened a drawer he could see the bright pink Ipod immediately.

After he found it he placed it in front of her on the floor and sat down. It was incredibly confusing to be in his current position. He stayed silent while Mioda was examining his music list with an unreadable expression. ”Nagito-san this is…”, her voice was low and dramatic. ”Surprisingly normal!”

Had he been drinking something he might’ve choked on it a bit. ”I’m honored that you think that.” It might just be that she hadn’t scrolled too far down. ”Ibuki’s already getting ideas! She’ll use Nagito-chan’s taste as a base!” She pressed play and a loud and somewhat religious sounding song started playing.

Now Komaeda was truly confused. He hadn’t deemed Mioda as the type of person to like that kind of music. ”Mioda-san, you like this type?” He asked with a raised voice so she would hear him over the loud music. Someone could be screaming and it might not carry over the music. Thankfully she turned it down so he could repeat his question.

Mioda grinned. ”Ibuki likes heavy metal! This is the closest thing and it’s different. But! But! Nagito-chan has to sing now! Create words that fit!” She yelled loudly. Komaeda winced a bit at the loudness of his cottage. He didn’t have talent, he couldn’t create words for a song like that. The closest thing he had managed were words to a much softer tune. The type of music Mioda wanted him to sing for required a Latin chant at least. 

”Ah I’m afraid that trash like me cannot possibly manage a task that requires true talent!” He could feel himself sweating. How horrible. Mioda shouldn’t care too much though right? It was only his uselessness after all. 

”Ooh? Should Ibuki try and work with that kind of music again then? But Ibuki doesn’t really want to…”, for once she sounded hesitant. ”But singing with friends is fun too.”  
It was obvious that she was talking to herself and not him. And that she was having an inner conflict of sorts. Komaeda wasn’t sure what to do. ”You shouldn’t do things you don’t want to do Mioda-san.”, it was the only things he could say to her at the moment. 

Mioda let out a deep breath and changed her position on the floor. ”Ibuki will do it! But Nagito-chan won’t sing cutesy pop songs!” She flipped her hair away from her eyes and glared at him, challenging him to argue against her.

Komaeda raised his hands in defeat. He wouldn't have argued. He had no right to. He’d sing if it made her hope shine brighter. ”I understand. Then…what should I sing?” 

 

They spent the next few hours writing words and with Mioda making him sing them and rewriting words. By the time he had started to loose his breath and have undignified coughing fits they had one full singable song. That was also the point Mioda stopped and announced that she needed to eat.

Komaeda couldn’t help but to agree. His food intake had been bad even by his standards for the past two days.

So they agreed to stop and headed out. Mioda was chattering happily about his apparently good singing voice. Something Komaeda didn’t agree with. Mostly because she also thought he should get in to a robot, whatever that meant.

Eventually their paths separated. Mioda wanted to write more and eat snacks in her cottage. And Komaeda was going to eat something light in the restaurant. The morning announcement had gone by and it should be empty. He ignored the strangely light feeling he was feeling. It must be because he hadn’t eaten yet.

 

The restaurant wasn’t empty. Kuzuryuu was sitting in one of the tables, eating his own breakfast half-heartedly. They both made eye contact and Komaeda cleared his throat. ”Good morning Kuzuryuu-san.”, he greeted him politely and shuffled to the table that was farthest away from Kuzuryuu after he had gotten some toast. There was no need to ruin Kuzuryuu’s meal with his presence.

He almost choked on his toast when a tray was slammed next to him. ”It’s too damn awkward to sit like that. So don’t take this the wrong way.”, Kuzuryuu said rather aggressively and sat down and continued eating.

Komaeda coughed and took an another bite of his toast. ”How do you know Pekoyama-san?” He wanted to learn it from the direct source. And create a conversation.   
Kuzuryuu looked at him with narrowed eyes. Before his expression loosened with a sigh. It was like a realization came to him. Perhaps no one had actually confronted him about this? It was very likely, considering the very real risk of loosing some fingers. 

”Look we’ve been together since we were kids okay? Nothing else.”, he snapped out. There was something else then. Kuzuryuu growled something under his breath. ”Hey tell me something about yourself then.’”

Komaeda swallowed the rest of his toast. Something about himself…? It was an honor to have a symbol of hope to be interested in his pitiful life. But what was there to tell that he was willing to throw out at the moment? ”I carry around go stones in jars.”, it was interesting enough. ”It’s weird I suppose.”, he continued with a smile. 

Kuzuryuu leaned against his arm. ”Compared to the other shit you’ve done that’s normal.”, he hesitated for a second. ”Tch whatever. I was kidnapped as a kid.”  
That was rather sensitive information. What he had shared was nothing compared to it. ”So was I.”, the words slipped out with ease. It was only fair right? To share something equal to what someone with much more value had shared.

Kuzuryuu’s eyes widened a bit but the look died down fast. ”They were some people from a smaller yakuza trying to cause trouble.”, he spoke with a clear purpose now, even Komaeda could understand that Kuzuryuu wanted more information about him. ”Ah the person who kidnapped me was a serial killer. He wanted money.”

He didn’t bother looking towards Kuzuryuu anymore. Thinking about the situation back then wasn’t bad. Sure it was an unlucky thing to happen and at the time he was affected. But years numbed down any problem he had with it. 

”So your parents paid? Or did the cops find you?” Suddenly the conversation wasn’t about exchanging equal information. But Komaeda didn’t mind much. ”He realised that no one would be paying the ransom and let me go.”, he explained cheerfully. That’s where the good luck started to come.

He heard Kuzuryuu curse softly and breath out deeply, as if to prepare to say something heavy. 

”Young master.”, a calm voice called out from the doorway. ”Peko!” Kuzuryuu was next to her in a flash, like it was the most natural thing to do. ”You got the okay from Tsumiki to walk?”

Pekoyama’s expression changed a bit. Something akin to…shame perhaps? ”No. You were taking a long time. I thought it would be good to check.”, she noticed him and nodded fast before focusing back to Kuzuryuu.

”Sorry. You shouldn’t have walked though. It’ll just take longer if you do.”, Komaeda felt like he was witnessing something private. Something about the scene caused his stomach to turn. Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama…their hope was amazing. 

Kuzuryuu looked back at him. ”Heh, you’re not half-bad when you’re not spouting creepy shit.”, with those words and a casual wave of his hand he and Pekoyama were out.

 

Something made a noise in Komaeda’s pocket. It came from his student handbook and when he opened the device the sight that greeted him shocked him.

A hope shard. He had gotten a hope shard from Kuzuryuu. How? That conversation was not enough at all was it? He didn’t understand and he couldn’t focus on unraveling the mystery because the light feeling returned with force. But this time he knew what it was. And more than anything he wanted to deny it’s existence.

But he could no longer deny the feeling. It was happiness. A brief moment of such a light, hopeful emotion that was different from the happiness he usually felt.

It made his stomach clench. His luck would eat the feeling and it’s cause alive and leave nothing behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I love how my school workload went from "What work?" to "Here have 400 things to do withing the next two hours :)"
> 
> Poor Komaeda. He never thought that he'd end up like that.


	14. Petunia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It truly was a beautiful sight that he had become familiar with. No one scolded him for staying out until the sun set and in the same way he was free to stay up until it rose.
> 
> And to see that sight on an island that was filled with symbols of hope in a situation that could possibly give birth to an amazing hope that would shine bright. 
> 
> An island that he wouldn’t mind dying on.

Komaeda chewed his onigiri without really tasting it. He had managed to avoid his classmates for two days after that hope shard incident. He had gotten plenty of food and water from the supermarket. He’d have to go again in few days. 

He just needed to wait for a moment when he was sure that no one was behind his door. Since it took his classmates a short amount of time to realize his avoidance and come knocking to his door.

At least they hadn’t gotten anyone to break in again. His door had been fine when he came back from the restaurant. If it hadn’t been he would’ve had to stay somewhere else. His good luck had really piled up. The following bad luck…there was no doubt about the fact that it wouldn’t affect him this time. Even if his current situation was a meager attempt to keep it to himself. 

Mioda and Kuzuryuu would be the ones to suffer. And Pekoyama too, if he understood anything about Kuzuryuu.   
The question was how would his luck do it? Would it cause a murder? Or perhaps something that would make them fall in to the clutches of despair. But that would imply that they could be reborn from it with hope that shone ever brighter than before.

The thought made him shiver. It was unrealistic to think that his luck would cause that.

He had managed to keep avoiding everyone for four days until his food supplies had ran out. Which meant that he had to go out or manage without eating.  
So Komaeda was on his way to the supermarket hours before anyone else should be awake. Of course there was a chance that he’d be seen. And perhaps anyone who wasn’t him would run off and solve it like that. But he wasn’t capable running like that so if it came to that he’d have to make do.

The walk wasn’t bad. After years of walking alone he came to appreciate the beautiful scenery. There was always the underlying tenseness he felt about it but if he didn’t think too hard he could look at the dark sky and get lost in his thoughts. And continue like that until he arrived where he was going and the sun was beginning to paint the sky with different shades of orange, pink and purple. 

It truly was a beautiful sight that he had become familiar with. No one scolded him for staying out until the sun set and in the same way he was free to stay up until it rose.  
And to see that sight on an island that was filled with symbols of hope in a situation that could possibly give birth to an amazing hope that would shine bright.   
An island that he wouldn’t mind dying on. 

Komaeda stopped for a minute and took a deep breath of the cold night air. As long as he thought that…no matter what his bad luck did next he could move forward until every drop of his life had been drained towards becoming a stepping stone.

It was only the matter of time. 

 

His thought process was interrupted by someone suddenly wrapping their hands around him and immobilizing his arms. His attempts to free himself were useless so Komaeda resigned himself to his fate.

”Finally! Do ya know how long we had to wait for you?” The voice belonged to Souda and Komaeda got the distinct idea that he might end up being tied up this time. It was almost a shame that this wasn’t a murder plan. But Souda was simply dragging him along without letting his arms free. He could also hear someone else’s footsteps behind them. The sigh that the person made was unmistakably from Kuzuryuu. ”Don’t get too rough dumbass. Tsumiki might actually leave you die if you screw up your finger now.”, there wasn’t much bite in his words. He sounded tired.

Souda snorted. ”It’s fine yeah? Komaeda’s surprisingly submissive. I thought we’d have to tie him up for her or something.”, the words were light toned but Komaeda wasn’t amused.

Who were they going to bring him to? It was suspicious. 

”Ah Souda-kun perhaps you should’ve done that!” He started brightly and ignored the slight gnawing feeling those words caused. ”You could easily end up dead tonight. And Kuzuryuu-kun too. And when your corpses were finally found…there would be no evidence.”, his tone got serious. If they understood him they'd know that he would never kill symbols of hope. But this time the lack of understanding could get him free. And if not that then it could get him time and information he needed to understand what they wanted to do with him. 

They stopped moving and the grip around him tightened until it was almost painful. ”Shut up about that!” Souda yelled and squeezed a bit harder with each word. Kuzuryuu walked in front of them, looking annoyed. ”Not a word about that got it? Otherwise Tsumiki will get something to patch up.”, Kuzuryuu’s tone was dangerous. Something that made it clear that he was absolutely serious about what he said. Komaeda swallowed his saliva and smiled brightly. ”So you’re bringing me to Tsumiki then?”

That’s the feeling he got from the sentence. It made him feel just a tad bit worried about why they might do that. And when it came to Tsumiki he’d prefer to not be rough with her. Being around a crying person was horribly awkward. 

Komaeda couldn’t do anything else than walk obediently with Souda holding him while Kuzuryuu looked at him the whole time.

They were determined to say the least.

 

The sun was starting to truly show itself by the time they had arrived to the pharmacy. Komaeda was mildly curious about why they would meet in the pharmacy of all the places but it did make sense. Tsumiki was probably rather happy in places that had to do with her talent. Unlike Komaeda who would prefer to not visit such places. It was rather bothersome.

Souda and Kuzuryuu shoved him inside. Well it was barely a shove, they mostly just patted his back until he obeyed. And then they left with tired goodbye’s and hello’s to him and Tsumiki.

”You wanted to see me Tsumiki-san?” He questioned with a smile. Tsumiki looked at him with her default nervous expression. ”I-I’m sorry about bothering you Komaeda-san. B-but! Mioda-san told me that you had a bad cough yesterday. So I wondered if you’d like something for it…?” It seemed like Tsumiki got a tad bit more confident when she started worrying about someone’s health.

Even if that someone didn’t deserve such care. 

”No no Tsumiki-san. I’m fine. There’s no need to waste your talent on someone like me.”, it was true. It was useless to bother with such things anymore. Komaeda could live without anything any medicine well enough. 

But now he had something else to consider. Like whetever or not Tsumiki would get suspicious of his health and observe him. An ultimate nurse like her could easily connect the dots if she tried. And a small part of him suspected that she might. Komaeda didn’t want that. 

”Haha Tsumiki-san as much as I appreciate your concern for a worthless being like me I do have something to do right now. So risking being rude I have to go now.”, at least he wasn’t lying. His plan to get food had been stopped before he managed to even get to the supermarket. He started to walk away slowly. He really hoped that Tsumiki wouldn’t cry.

”Komaeda-san!” She yelled his name and he could hear frantic footsteps behind him and then a loud yell.

 

He was laying on the ground before his brain could even fully register what was going on. Based on the slight pain on the back of his skull he could assume that he had fallen down and hit his head.

That didn’t explain the heaviness on his chest though. It didn’t explain the occasional tightness and flash of pain around his armpit area either. Komaeda focused his eyes and lifted his throbbing head up slightly to see what was causing the feeling on his chest. ”Tsumiki-san?” She was laying face down on his chest with both of her hands shoved under his armpits. The position was…more tame than how she usually fell at least. But still he didn’t enjoy laying down on the hard floor. ”Tsumiki-san you tripped.” Her weight made it a bit hard to breath too. 

Finally she lifted her head up and Komaeda kept from grimacing as he noticed her tearful expression. ”I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It was an accident!” Her tears fell down as she yelled sincere apologizes. Komaeda believed her of course. He also didn’t see anything to be sorry for. All he wanted was for her to get up so he could breath better. And she did get up rather hastily, still crying and apologizing to him with her hands clasped together.

Komaeda rose up too. It seemed like his bad luck had targeted him instead after all.

The thought made the light feeling threaten to return but he trampled it down like a flower. It had no place to surface right now. 

”Tsumiki-san it’s alright. I believe you. And even if you had decided to tackle me I’d still be fine with it!” As long as it made her hope shine he would happily let her crack his skull against the ground! Tsumiki wasn’t sobbing anymore at least. She looked more…thoughtful now? ”Um…Komaeda-san it isn’t my place to ask but. Are you aware that your lymph nodes are swollen in your armpits?” The worry was apparent on her face.

The pharmacy felt rather small for a second. Like it would lock itself and leave him alone with the ultimate nurse until each and every bit of him was drained out against his will.  
The feeling passed but he was still stuck. If he left she’d be suspicious. If he told her that he knew she might ask questions about why they were like that. Komaeda didn’t want anything that would come with the truth. ”…”, the words he should say didn’t come to him fast enough. 

”T-truth be told I…I always thought that you might be really sick Komaeda-san.”, Tsumiki’s voice was timid. At least she wasn’t accusing him of anything. But she also sounded too sure about herself for his own comfort. ”There are so many things that hinted towards it. Your hair, skin, weight and there have been some obvious symptoms too. And…your behavior?” No matter how silently she described his current state he could hear her words loud and clear even through the heavy thumping of his heart in his ears.

”Tsumiki-san.”, he started, voice serious and solemn. ”Truthfully…I am dying.”

He waited a bit to see the way her eyes widened in shock and then it was time to crush it. ”…Is that what you thought I’d say?” He let out a breathy laugh of mockery. For this to work…he had to do his best. ”I knew it was a good idea to say something that a character from a book would say. It was shocking right? But now your hope will shine brighter than ever right Tsumiki-san?” 

Her face seemed to be stuck to an expression of surprise and mild fear. Soon she’d hate him and he could go on about his life like usually without worrying about her. His luck had pulled through once more!

”I don’t believe you…”

Except he was experiencing bad luck instead of good. It made sense. It made disgustingly lot of sense. It saw a chance and took it like a predator. She didn’t believe his lie and she never would. It was all pointless.

And so he ran. Because there was nothing more he could do anymore.

 

It had taken just one slip up from his usual attitude to cause everything to grumble down like the sandcastles he had never managed to finish. As a payment for his momentary happiness his luck had revealed something he would’ve preferred to keep himself. Or in his dream, to tell someone who cared for him. But it was an unlikely dream to come true.   
His running had died down to fast paced walking ages ago. No, he had barely even started running before he had to stop it. Somehow it made him feel even more irritated. If there was a wall nearby he might even punch it in a fit of impulsiveness.

Komaeda stopped for a moment. Impulsive behavior…that’s what had become his problem. It had to be that. It was hard to recognize any change at all but something was different. Impulsiveness fit the bill right? He wasn’t just confusing something different as that right?

He started walking again and swallowed his current way of thinking. It would do him no good to think about it. It wouldn’t be clear to him now or later. 

 

Somewhere in the midst of his irritated thoughts he had lost his concentration to where he was walking and slammed against someone. Komaeda let out an annoyed hiss and tried to prepare himself to be polite to whoever it was. 

”Oh Komaeda?” The voice belonged to Hinata. Komaeda blinked and stared at him with a small scowl before breathing out. ”Hello Hinata-kun.”, he couldn’t get the tone of his voice right at all. The irritation seeped in to it. And Hinata noticed it. ”Are you okay?” 

What a stupid question. ”It’s admirable that you’d bother to ask. But cut the pretenses.”, he didn’t need to add an another person to the list of people talented people who could die because of him. ”You shouldn’t bother yourself by my worthless presence.”, Komaeda knew that he must’ve looked weird. Hinata was looking at him like he was seeing a newly discovered species, never seen before. 

”You’re angry because of something aren’t you? Or someone?” Hinata was still calm. It was weird. Komaeda felt like their situations had been reversed. What a pitiful situation he was in. But what was he angry for? Tsumiki? No she was a nurse and could hardly be blamed for connecting the dots if they were laid before her. Souda and Kuzuryuu perhaps? They were just helping Tsumiki. Was he angry at Mioda for talking to Tsumiki? Obviously not, she might’ve not even told Tsumiki on purpose. 

No. He was angry…at himself and his luck. That was it. He had failed to keep his distance and he had allowed a situation where his luck searched the equal amount of bad luck to pay back at the good luck.

The feeling would pass and he could start imagining the good luck something like this would cause. But for the moment he had hard time being excited for the hope that was sure to be born from this. 

”Myself.”, what would it matter to add more bad luck to this? It’d be better later on. ”My luck.”, ah at times like this he truly wanted to be rid of it and not have to wait. Should he say that too? ”It’s a wretched talent.”, he stated. It was good to know he had some impulse control left. ”You should stay away Hinata-kun. It might affect you eventually.”

He had nothing more to say. Komaeda could feel the anger dripping out of him slowly. And he certainly didn’t desire to be with someone when it finally drained out completely. So he turned away from Hinata who had been silent the entire time he had talked. 

”Komaeda…”, expect when he was about to leave apparently. Komaeda turned his head to glare at Hinata and walked off without another word. Leaving Hinata standing there with a dumbstruck expression. 

 

It was hours later after Hinata had managed to go through his and Komaeda’s short interaction that he had made the decision to call a group meeting of sorts. He had expressed his idea to Tsumiki first since she was next to him when he had made the final decision in his mind. Surprisingly she had agreed with him rather strongly. It made him wonder if the exhaustion from the bad sleep schedule they had caused for her had finally caught up to her. The physical signs were there at least. Her hair was pulled to a messy bun and if he looked closely it seemed to be tangled. So the bun might be her way to hide it’s condition. And there were dark circles under her eyes.

Hinata felt bad for her. It was a blessing that Pekoyama’s ankle was good enough to not need Tsumiki checking it anymore. And Souda was taking care of his finger himself well enough. 

If he had the option to he would tell her to skip the meeting in the beach house. But she had already followed him there and was waiting for everyone with him.   
It was almost time for the meeting to start and people started arriving in small groups.

”Yo Hinata.”, Souda was one of the first to arrive with Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama just behind him. ”So what’s the purpose? Monokuma hasn’t been bothering us lately so it’s not that right?” Souda continued and sat down next to him on the floor. It was a bit pointless since Hinata would have to stand up soon. ”I’ll tell it when everyone gets here.”, Hinata said and decided it was time to stand up since they only needed to wait for Nanami to arrive. 

By the time she came through the door, yawning and looking a bit sickly everyone else had already settled down to wait. Hinata didn’t waste any time after her arrival to get to the point. ”So Komaeda’s back to normal.”, it was not a correct way to start a meeting. But his talent defiantly wasn’t within that area. Someone like Sonia or Togami would do a much better job. But it was now his responsibility. 

He waited until he heard affirmative noises. ”Well he hasn’t been as annoying lately has he?” It was Saionji’s comment that got more positive response. Kuzuryuu snorted from the corner he was standing with Pekoyama. ”True. We had a almost pleasant talk.”

Tsumiki raised her hand meekly and Hinata motioned her to go on with his hand. ”I-I think Komaeda-san is rather sick. It’s not…really my place to tell but I’d like to help.”, she seemed to have a plan in her mind but didn’t say anything else.

Hinata could feel something sink in his stomach at Tsumiki's words. He had wondered about the sickly appearance sometimes. To have a confirmation that something was wrong was a bit upsetting. But it wasn’t the time to go too deeply in to his own feelings. It seemed like they should make a plan. 

”Anyway. Tsumiki if you need help just ask. You shouldn’t overwork yourself.”, Hinata was sure that she needed help with whatever she wanted to do. But he should address something he wanted to make clear to everyone. ”Has anyone here thought very deeply about the talent ultimate luck? Komaeda told me it was a cycle of good and bad luck. I don’t know how accurate that is in reality but it’s what he believes in at least.”

That was important to understand probably. That even if his luck didn’t work that way it was what Komaeda seemed to live by. But Hinata had a feeling that it might be the way it really worked. 

”And what about it? If it’s a cycle then shouldn’t he be constantly worried about everything he does?” Koizumi asked and looked at Hinata like he was talking nonsense. Well she was the type to think things realistically. Hinata frowned. Komaeda didn’t show constant worry about himself. Koizumi’s words reminded him of what he had told Hinata just today.

”I think the bad luck targets other people?” If he understood the words ’It might affect you eventually’ right then that’s what they hinted at. ”Would that make sense?”   
Did Komaeda worry for other people constantly if that was the case? Or did he even care? He must care since he warned Hinata in a way.   
”Why would it affect other people though? Shouldn’t it just try to kick him in the mud or something?” Owari asked with her mouth full of food. Hinata wasn’t even going to question why she had brought food in the first place. 

”Mmm maybe it targets things he likes?” Nanami drawled out slowly without even looking away from her console. It was such a specific guess. Hinata wondered about it out loud ”What does he like?” 

This time it seemed that Souda had the answer. ”Dogs and books. At least the kid Komaeda liked those.”  
He could hear Tanaka murmur something. ”The fate of the cerberus comes to mind from that.” It was a small miracle that Tanaka didn’t declare that with a loud voice. ”What?” Hinata had no idea what that meant. And neither did anyone else from the looks of it. 

”Perhaps we shouldn’t assume things about Komaeda-san more than this? It might be better to extend a helping hand and let him take it within his own pace? That is if we wish to be kinder.” Sonia made a good point. It was no good to assume things especially because they barely understood a thing about Komaeda.

”Why should we? He started this whole mess!” Saionji hissed. Koizumi stayed silent next to her for a bit. ”Even if that creep was a normal child what does it have to do with this?” Hinata wondered how long she had thought about that. Or if she was talking about different things all together. 

”But it showed that something happened to him that made him like that, I think. And if that’s the case wouldn’t it be better to try to understand him?” Nanami mused and Hinata agreed with her. ”I think that doing that could work. And if it doesn’t…”, Hinata didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t know what he would do if Komaeda tried to cause another murder. 

”We’ll stop him if it comes to that Hinata-san.”, Sonia said with a determined voice. The others agreed with her. Well he couldn’t hear Saionji’s agreement but she wasn’t talking against it at least. 

”Allow the magic to gradually seep in to the grey one’s core. When he notices the change it’s far too late to be rid of it fuahaha!” Tanaka spouted his familiar hard to translate nonsense. At least Hinata could understand that he was talking about Komaeda.

”…Man I didn’t understand a word you said Tonks. But if he tries something I can still punch him right?” Owari punched her own palm with a grin. Hinata could hear Tanaka’s splutter about being referred with a name that wasn’t even close to his own. 

It seemed like everyone was rather determined to see their choice through.

Hinata wondered if Komaeda would say something like ’Your hope is shining bright as ever!’ or if he would be flustered about the fact that this mood was caused by him. He’d probably deny it if he saw it right now and talk himself down even more than usual.

It might be nice to one day tell Komaeda that he had managed to inspire that hope he so cherished in them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taking me so long to do updates. I kinda have trouble sitting down and focusing these days. 
> 
> But here we are with Komaeda showing more of his emotions while others are making a game plan. And a proper healthcare plan too. Tsumiki would probably single handedly manage to gauge his current ability to function, get some home care ready for him and probably a trustee for when he'd realistically need one. 
> 
> But she doesn't have the right resources so she has to get creative. And hopefully get help because otherwise it's r.i.p Actsty Tsumiki.
> 
>  
> 
> /In my chapter plans the fall scene was described as "Generic anime fall but instead of boobs it's swollen lymph nodes." 
> 
> (Impulsibe behaviour is a symptom of FTD. So it's a choice I made. Now how good I wrote it in is a different matter entirely.)


	15. Five leafed clover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was like a frozen lake. But it seemed like they might just melt him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

Komaeda groaned as he woke up. Even if he slept for only an hour or two he was still drenched and feeling worse than before he fell asleep. He had lost himself in his thoughts after yesterday’s…situation. He only had the slight idea that he had only fallen asleep by accident because he had no memory of snapping out of his thoughts and deciding that sleep was relevant to him. 

His stomach growled and he groaned again. Eating hadn’t been a relevant need to him either. And he didn’t exactly want to eat. But after all what had happened Komaeda was certain that he was going to experience good luck next.

So it was certainly a better idea to do what he needed now than ignore them. The good luck would be marvelous. So he had nothing to worry about!

Even if the entire class knew it was fine. It was always fine. That’s how it worked. 

That’s what he had worked out last night. He should just go on about his life the same way as before and everything would go back to how it should be. 

Komaeda rose up from the bed slowly and ran his hand through his hair. Well he tried to at least, it was horribly tangled so his fingers didn’t really get through at all. It was annoying but there wasn’t much he could do about it. If he tried he might end up ripping a huge chunk of hair out and he had still a sliver of care about his appearance. Not to mention he’d had to hold the brush so long that his fingers would definitely become stiff and that was always a pain to get rid off. 

It was better to leave it messy and just go to wash himself. After that he might as well go to the restaurant. Whetever or not he’d eat was still something he wasn’t sure about.

 

Komaeda was quite sure that he had to eat by the time he had climbed the stairs and spend the next minute trying to even his breath. It wasn’t unusual if he was little winded up up after climbing some stairs but to this extent. It was very likely because of his lack of meals. He noticed that the others had already arrived except for Tsumiki and Owari. But no one paid much attention to him other than a quick glance and few nods. Komaeda was rather thankful of that. It was a bit hard to keep up a cheerful looking face while pretending that he didn’t want to take a huge gulp of air. 

”Yo!” A strong hand hit his back at the same time with the lively greeting. Komaeda could feel the rest of the air leave his lungs because of the hit. But at least it gave him the excuse to gasp for air. Even if he was suffering a bit. Well it was obvious who was behind him. ”Good morning Owari-san.”, he sounded rather pathetic because of his breathlessness.  
”Yes yes, mornin’. Let’s eat!” Owari took two steps towards the tables before looking back at him over her shoulder. ”Well?” She had a impatient look on her face that slowly turned in to a glare. ”You’re not getting out of eating you know?”

Komaeda stared at her for a while before straightening himself up. She wanted him to eat with her? And based on her tone saying no wasn’t an option. Not unless he wanted her to chase him for around five seconds maximum. So he just accepted his fate and walked over to her. 

Owari looked satisfied but she moved behind him and with a mixture of gentle and rough force pushed him to the nearest table. ”Owari-san? I need to go get food though?” He wasn’t really sure what was going on honestly. It seemed like the abnormality hadn’t gone anywhere and he hadn’t realized it early enough to dodge it. And with Owari being the weird one he had no chance of getting out of it. 

”Yeah I’ll do that. I doubt you know how to eat right. No scratch that. You don’t know how to do that.”, she gave him a pointed look of mild disappointment before leaving to get food. Komaeda couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was treating him a bit like a stupid child who made bad life decisions. 

Knowing her that might actually be the case. He could only hope that she didn’t make him eat anything too heavy. He wouldn’t be able to keep it down. 

 

Owari came back fast with two plates filled with food, she placed them on the table and sat down. He ignored the fact that she was drooling a bit. The other one was filled to the brim with all kinds of breakfast foods and Komaeda assumed that it was her plate. The other one had two pieces of dark bread covered with avocado and red flakes. It looked like it would taste rather good. And there was bread involved so he shouldn’t have too much trouble with it. He took one of the breads and took a bite slowly.

It was…really good. After the first bite it was much easier to focus on eating his meal. Since he was actually enjoying it. 

”Damn I almost forgot. You also gotta drink this.”, Owari cursed with her mouth full of food and pushed a small plastic cup filled with something that looked like a yogurt. Komaeda picked it up and looked at the numbers at the side. Of course he recognized that it was one of those cups used to give out medicine. But the content was obviously not medicine. Even if it was seemingly carefully poured to be exactly 30ml.

”Owari-san I don’t know what this is.”, and he wasn’t going to just drink it without knowing. Granted he wasn’t sure if Owari knew but she was the one to give it to him. Maybe she was asked to give it to him or maybe she had her own plans about his diet.

”It’s a protein drink or something? You know what they are.”, she sounded dismissive about it. But she also looked at him expectedly. Komaeda shrugged a bit and drank the contents. It did taste like he was expecting it to. So it was most likely a protein drink of sorts. 

He finished his meal and glanced at Owari who was nowhere near finished. He rose from his seat and looked at Owari’s reaction to see if he should stick around or if he was free to go. She didn’t seem to object so Komaeda pushed his chair back and took his plate and the small cup from the table. First he would wash his dishes and then go…to do something? Maybe he’d read in the library.

The peaceful atmosphere was making him lack anything to do during the moments when his luck wasn’t doing grand things. 

 

”Ah Komaeda-san!” A happy yell made him stop his own plans again. ”Nagito-chan!” And another followed. Komaeda sighed slightly and put his dished back on the table. It was probably a good idea to not mix Mioda and breakable objects with his luck. And with Sonia…she might just end up doing his dishes for him out of curiosity if he wasn’t careful.  
”Mioda-san and I were wondering if you’d be alright with us practicing hair styles on your hair.”, Sonia explained with starry eyes. Mioda was nodding her hair along with a slight grin. ”Yes yes Nagito-chan’s hair is full of mysteries that need to be uncovered!”  
”I…alright? It’s horrible though. If you’re willing to lower yourself to touch such a filthy thing I won’t object but it truly is disgusting. You might even want to wear gloves.”, Komaeda could only hope that they’d realize what a bad idea it was.  
”Komaeda-san don’t speak about yourself like that.”, Sonia said with a firm voice that made him want to kneel before her. ”Besides Mioda-san has gathered everything we need to make your hair look nice.”

Mioda rustled a fabric bag and Komaeda could hear bottles hitting each other. A simple thought crossed his mind as he realized that they were very serious about this.  
He wouldn’t be able to wash his dishes for a while.

 

They were seated at the back of the restaurant to avoid getting in the way of the others who were still eating. It had taken Sonia a while to get her brush through just a small section of his hair. And quite a lot of some sort of spray. 

Over time it had become easier to get the brush through and it didn’t really sting his scalp. He could still hear Sonia mutter small frustrated words occasionally but overall it was almost calming. Mioda had taken out one of her notebooks the moment she realized that it was going to take a while before she would get to do anything and was writing something down. 

Komaeda was thankful that no one was paying any attention to them. It was probably a bit weird to have someone who was the same age as he brushing his hair. Especially a girl.  
He didn’t exactly care that it was a girl. He couldn’t imagine someone like Hinata just sitting down and spending a long time trying to make him look presentable. But maybe that was because of the antenna didn’t exactly give the impression of a person who was good at styling hair. 

”I’m done.”, Sonia stated with a happy sigh and fluffed his hair bit with her fingers. ”It should be easier to brush after this. I had to cut open some knots but it looks good.”  
Mioda snapped her notebook shut faster than either of them could react and reached for the bag on the table. ”So it’s Ibuki’s turn?” She was bouncing on her seat happily. Sonia only laughed and switched seats with Mioda to give her a better place to mess with his hair. 

Komaeda had come to accept his fate during the time that Sonia spend on his hair. Besides Mioda knew how to style hair. Her preferences were just not his style. ”Yes yes Ibuki knows exactly what will look good on Nagito-chan. Something that will make girls have heart eyes!”

”Uh…”, Komaeda let out a small confused noise. Why would he want that? Mioda heard him, of course she did. ”Or boys!”

This time he spluttered a bit. Seriously? Why would he want that? And a hair style couldn’t save what was otherwise horrible trash. It was like placing a nice flower on top of a garbage can. Pointless. ”Mioda-san!”, Sonia chastised her a bit before looking at him. ”Oh you’re flushed? Are you alright Komaeda-san? Do you feel ill?”

Komaeda chose to stay silent. He was blushing? It wasn’t common but at least he knew why. Considering that Mioda had hinted towards…things. It was just a bit embarrassing, something he wouldn’t admit out loud. 

Sonia shrugged it off and concentrated on Mioda’s work. Mioda had stared him much longer with a knowing smirk. But then she had begun her work by dumping a handful of white bobby pins on the table along with some white hair elastics. 

 

Komaeda looked at the restaurant. Although most weren’t eating anymore they didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. Instead everyone was immerged in conversations. For example Hinata seemed to be listening Souda talk about something with a deadpan look. Hinata turned his head towards him a bit like he had felt him staring. Komaeda waved awkwardly. Hinata returned his greeting with a small smile and then snorted as he saw what kind of situation he was in. 

Well Komaeda had no idea what Mioda was creating behind him. His hair was being pulled in to a ponytail, that much he could tell. She finished that rather fast and started to pull his ’bangs’ away from his eyes and pinned them down with bobby pins. A lot of bobby pins. 

”Ibuki is finished!” Mioda cheered as she put the final pin in his hair. ”Drum roll please!” Instead of waiting Mioda started the drum roll against the table herself. Sonia had a mirror in her hands and when Mioda finished she lifted it up in front of him. 

At first it was a bit hard to even recognize himself. His curls looked much more controlled and smooth. Most of his hair had been pulled back to a loose ponytail and the front had been pinned on top of his head with some hair left to the sides. It was a weird feeling to see his face without hair covering parts of it. It was even weirder feeling to see himself looking so…presentable. Like a person who you might see walking around and not think anything of it. If the color wasn’t so attention grabbing he might even call the way he looked at the moment…ordinary. 

He felt a bit choked up about it. He could also feel at least a dozen pairs of eyes looking at him. He turned away from the mirror. He needed a moment. He might be having a bad case of loosing his breath soon. That’s what he felt like at least. 

 

”Oh but pardon us Komaeda-san! We’ve held you here for a long time. I’m sure that you had something planned. Please don’t let us keep you any longer if you need to go.”, Sonia sounded worried that she had made him miss something he had planned to do.  
It was an useless worry of course. He had no plans and even if he did they wouldn’t matter. But it was a way out from the social situation and at the moment he wanted to take it and go.  
”R-right I did have few things planned.”, well now he did have a ’Try to breathe.’ planned. ”Excuse me.”, he started walking out with fast steps. What he was feeling was different from the usual lack of breath and it might not even be that. But he refused to analyze that can of worms.

 

Komaeda almost recoiled when he felt something soft and squishy grab his hand. ”It’s been to long! You wouldn’t leave during the reunion announcement would you?” He could recognize that annoying voice anywhere.

His blood felt cold and frozen in his veins. They hadn’t seen Monokuma for a while had they? And the malicious excitement hinted towards the fact that something was going to happen. 

Monokuma let go of his hand and kicked away Monomi who was trying to hold him back rather uselessly.

”Greetings and salutions! I’m still alive and kicking for those who thought they would be rid of me!” He was definitely addressing someone who wasn’t in the room. ”Some of you even had hope that nothing bad would happen anymore.”, Monokuma laughed until he was wheezing. How did that even work?

”Ah the despair you must be feeling. Well let’s amp it up even more! It’s a time for a motive! A motive that will make up for the lack of death and boredom.”, he paused and looked over them to see their reaction.

No one said anything but their looks spoke what they felt. Fear, shock, anger and…despair. An emotion that made Komaeda growl a bit. He was quite sure that he didn’t look calm as usual. No…he didn’t feel calm. He wanted to feel excitement. But it just wasn’t there. 

”Well silence works.”, Monokuma shrugged and walked around handing out white envelopes to everyone one by one. Komaeda looked at it for a second but focused back on to Monokuma. No one had opened their’s yet. Obviously not since it might be a trap. 

”Well? Open them. I can’t get the ball rolling otherwise.”, Monokuma demanded and waited until everyone had opened the envelopes and pulled out the pictures.

Komaeda followed suit and looked at the…blank white paper. Was this a joke? Or a secret message that would require certain ways to get the text visible? He didn’t know what to think because all around him he could hear gasps, cursing and other emotion filled words.

”Puhuhu I have your attention now? In your hands you’re holding the life of the person who you value the most.”, Monokuma leaned forward with eye glowing. ”A murder has to happen within 72 hours or I will randomly decide one of them to be executed and show it to you.”

The room exploded with noise. Threats, anger, despair, crying. It seemed like the motive was strong enough to affect everyone. Because…they had people they loved.  
Komaeda shivered. He felt cold. A motive like this…

He couldn’t think clearly. All he could fleetingly think about was how it wasn’t fair. He had nothing to loose, right? He didn’t have people who would get hurt anymore right?  
Then why…was he feeling dread? He tried to grasp his tangled hair. Expect it wasn’t tangled at all. It was nice and smooth and better than it had looked in years.  
The realization struck him strongly enough to make him take a step back. No one noticed because of the general chaos. He…he cared. He cared about the people around him in a way that wasn’t just because of their hope.

Because they were kind. They saw what he did and they were angry but they weren’t angry anymore and they tried to be nice. He wasn’t excluded. They didn’t look at him like a disgusting bug that bothered everyone. 

And Monokuma…had to know how it worked right? Even if his envelope was empty Monokuma had to know that in a situation like this his luck would strike and cause suffering.  
He couldn’t breath. He definitely couldn’t breath anymore. It was…he made a mistake! He failed! He failed to keep people away and his luck had the chance to drain life and happiness. And he had put the hope of the world at risk.

”Hahah.”, he let out a breathless laugh. There was a solution though, wasn’t there? A simple one that would easily fix everything. Undo the mistake he did and finish the job he had tried to achieve in the very beginning. 

He couldn’t bear to see any of the symbols of hope to die anymore.

 

Hinata was horrified by the new motive. His parents were at risk of dying? Not only that but so many other people were at risk too. Monokuma was…cruel. And resourceful enough that Hinata couldn’t wave the motive as a useless threat.

After Monokuma and Monomi had disappeared the others run out fast. It was clear that no one wanted to be around everyone at the moment. Hinata was about to follow but he could see that Komaeda was still standing at the same spot, gripping his envelope to the point where the paper was wrinkled and might even break. 

”Hey Komaeda?” He wanted to ask if he was alright but the question was stupid. He wasn’t alright. None of them were. His words seemed to snap Komaeda out from his trance and he looked at Hinata with a disturbingly blank look on his face before shoving his envelope at Hinata’s hands and walking away. His expression gave nothing away. It was an expression that looked so wrong on Komaeda. The other usually was at least smiling even if it wasn’t suitable for the situation. 

He waited until Komaeda had left to look at the envelope that Komaeda had given him. Since he gave it to Hinata he wanted him to look at who his important person was right?  
Even if Komaeda hadn’t wanted that Hinata still took the paper out and looked. It was blank? He turned it around only to see another blank side. Why was it blank? Did it mean that Komaeda had no one?

Something twisted painfully in his stomach. The implication was obvious. Because Monokuma was the type to mock a person about being alone.  
That’s right…Komaeda had been alone before? And if they hadn’t gotten the chance to see his younger self and let time dull their anger and disdain he’d still be alone. Because they were ready to just tie him up and leave laying somewhere. 

But as much as the thought stung Hinata couldn’t help but to worry more about how this would affect Komaeda. He had been calmer. As if the peaceful atmosphere affected him too. But now…the motive combined with the disturbing face.  
Hinata was worried that the results would end up deadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary is a Heathers reference. So is "Greetings and salutions."
> 
> So if you're wondering: Yes Komaeda was feeling so overwhelmed that he got choked up. And his luck was like "Oh shit happiness? Quick make everyone suffer!" 
> 
> He's also having a really bad time. 
> 
> But few fun facts: The thing Komaeda drank is a high calorie drink usually given to elderly whose eating is bad. It's a thing and I think Tsumiki would give it to him. Also I hate avocado toast. And I have no idea how to describe what he was eating. Full wheat toast, mushed avocado with red peppers, salt, pepper and a squeeze or lemon. 
> 
> http://23i2ko.tumblr.com/post/149254630134/too-hot  
> That's the hair style. Please appreciate the fact that I had to go through google to find what I was looking for and I saw some shit.


	16. Cyclamen

Komaeda walked out of his cottage with determined steps. The night announcement had just rang and it was his best moment to act. When people might be still be outside even with the motive looming over them. Or arrived outside.

Of course no one would murder anyone the same day the motive had been given. No, it was important to plan first. Otherwise you’d get caught. He didn’t know if the others had thought about the logic behind it. But they might also still prefer to be safe than sorry.

Komaeda didn’t really care. Which was precisely why he was outside and looking for anyone he could find. 

And once again he got lucky when he spotted Nidai seemingly heading towards his own cottage. Komaeda fastened his pace enough that he caught up to Nidai before he could go in. ”Hello Nidai-kun.”, he greeted him with a casual greeting. Even if it lacked the usual ’carefree’ attitude behind it. ”Walk with me?” 

It was time to be blunt about things. He had no right to sound so demanding but it was needed. 

”Huh? With you?” Nidai sounded nervous, like he was expecting to be killed at any second. ”With me.”, Komaeda confirmed and raised his brow a bit. He had to realize that there was no way for Komaeda to murder him right? Nidai could probably breath hard in his direction and he’d collapse. 

”I…fine. It’s nothing personal of course. But this…motive.”, Nidai seemed a bit unsure. ”Well! It won’t come to that. Nobody will die!” Even if his voice was more passionate the true feelings of uncertainty were loud and clear.

Komaeda smiled at him slightly. Really he doubted that Nidai’s feelings of suspicion towards him were not personal. He had every right to feel like that about him. 

”Then let’s go.”, he started walking with heavy feet. What he was about to do…he felt conflicted about it. 

 

They had been walking for a while in silence. Komaeda had taken the lead since he was the one to ask for this. And it was probably better for Nidai’s nerves. Considering the fact that someone as loud as Nidai was staying silent for this long. Komaeda wished he could get to his point soon but his tongue seemed to be a bit tied. The atmosphere was solemn because of this. 

He felt more ready when they arrived at the beach. When Komaeda looked around he felt like the sky should be sunny and cloudless instead of dark and starry. It was weird thing to be fully convinced about.

”This is a bit nostalgic you know? I don’t know why.”, it truly was. Perhaps his brain mixed up his first meeting with Hinata to this? It was likely. 

”I see.”, Nidai sounded surprisingly calm. Komaeda wasn’t fully comfortable with that. He preferred silence but when a person who was usually bustling with energy was down…that was uncomfortable. ”As a child I was bedridden in a hospital because of a heart defect!” The sentence was said so fast that Komaeda almost didn’t understand a word. He let out a small noise of confusion at the sudden confession. It was relevant to what he had wanted to say but it was very random. ”So I couldn’t take part in exercise and P.E classes.”

”Ah but here you are. The ultimate team manager. It’s rather amazing to know that and to see what you’ve managed to do.”, Komaeda said with a light smile. No matter how it happened it was obvious that Nidai had seen hope, combined it with talent and became someone very different from what he had started as.   
It was amazing. Something he could never do. But there was probably a reason why he told him that. And Komaeda was very lucky that he talked about things like that. 

Nidai stared at him with an intense look. It was far more fitting than the silence. ”You can do it too.”

There it was. Komaeda laughed a joyless laugh. Really Nidai had hope for him? For him to rise above his own conditions and overcome them? Even if he didn’t know what his health was like? But this was his chance. ”Except if it’s stage three malignant lymphoma.” 

With his luck if he had lived longer it might just become stage four. But even now it was far too late. 

The intense look melted away from Nidai’s face. He seemed confused but also…worried? Like he knew that what he had proclaimed to have was bad even if he had no clue what it was. 

”It’s cancer.”, saying it like that made it sound too simple. And in a way it was very simple. Lymphoma was easy to understand from stage one to four. It was the dementia that was hard to understand. But he had no plans to talk about that. 

”Are you getting treatment?” Oh Nidai sounded a bit choked up. Komaeda hoped he wouldn’t start crying. He wouldn’t want to finish what he had already begun if Nidai did that. He shook his head as an answer. 

”…Would it help?” He seemed to be referring to the treatment. Perhaps if he had insisted on it his luck could’ve made it possible. ”No.”, it was such a simple answer. But he was feeling out of it. The nostalgia of the beach must be affecting him. In a way it was easier to speak but it was also hard. Naturally there was also the finality of it all. Because to him this was very final. 

”Nidai-kun I am asking a favor from you. I have no right to of course but still.”, he breathed in the cold air so he could finish his selfish request. ”Tell the others about this.” 

He had his reasons. To selfishly wish for them to think him after his death. To inspire hope and have a meaningful way to go while making sure they knew it was coming. 

”I will if you want me to. But you won’t do it yourself?” Nidai still sounded like he might cry but at least he wasn’t doing it yet. 

”I doubt I’d be able to.”, he smiled tightly at Nidai and waved his hand loosely. His time was running short and he ought to get going. It was weird to trust Nidai to tell them but he did trust in that. Besides Nidai wasn’t that good of a liar. If it came up then they would get to know. 

The heaviness in his steps hadn’t eased. Instead he felt even more heavy as he walked away from the beach, letting the shadows swallow his figure. 

 

Hinata arrived at the restaurant looking like a zombie. He hadn’t gotten enough sleep and he couldn’t muster enough energy to try to look presentable. But it seemed like most of the people in the restaurant had the same problem. He could see Sonia drinking tea with her hair braided to a messy braid. Her eyes looked just a tad bit dead under all the worry. Hinata wasn’t sure what to think of that. Or the fact that Owari was eating meat while she was walking around the restaurant by ripping pieces of it with her teeth.

Hinata looked around to see if Komaeda was sitting somewhere but he couldn’t see the rather easily noticeable white hair anywhere. So he decided to go and sit next to Nanami. She wasn’t sleeping or playing anything for once. But she looked like she was in some sort of pain so it was easy to assume that she was affected too. 

”Have you seen Komaeda? Everyone else is here. And after yesterday it’d be weird if he doesn’t appear.”, Hinata asked her and suppressed a yawn. He could see that few heads had turned at their direction since he hadn’t spoken silently. 

Nanami lifted her head and looked at him. ”No I haven’t. No one else has seen him either, I think.”, she told him slowly. Hinata was starting to feel a bit more worried. ”Huh do you think he just needs some time alone or…”, he didn’t want to ask ’Do you think he plans to do something?’ out loud. But even if Komaeda has been calmer the face he had made yesterday made him worry.

Komaeda was capable of working with the motive. Especially because the motive was so cruel and affected most of them if not everyone. 

”Hey what do you mean nobody has seen the guy?” He could hear Souda’s anxious words near him. Hinata cursed mentally. ”Wouldn’t it be better if we looked for him then? In groups. If he isn’t doing anything weird then it’s all good but we can’t just ignore this!” Hinata did agree on a certain level. It might even create more doubt towards everyone if they didn’t check on Komaeda. But everybody seemed to be ready to go and search. Perhaps so they could distract themselves with a task. Well he was the same too. Nanami didn’t seem to be in a hurry though, instead she stayed on her seat, slouched on top of the table. 

”I’ll go too Nanami. You…might want to stay and rest. You look kinda bad.”, Hinata encouraged. She might be coming down with something?

He waited until he got a hum as a response and ran out after the others.

 

”Damn it.”, Hinata had searched the first island and Jabberwock park but there was no sign of Komaeda. He even asked around whenever he saw someone but they hadn’t spotted him either. Which meant that he was now searching on the second island.

He had met Sonia in front of the library but she had quickly told him that the library was empty. Which saved him the time of futile searching. So he was running to the beach house next when he heard a shrill scream in that exact direction. 

Hinata stopped for a second when he heard the scream. His mind went to the worst image possible, a bloody corpse laying down and another trial. He slapped his cheeks and continued running as fast as he could. On his way he almost slammed against Koizumi who was pale and running at equally fast speed. She didn’t even stop, just continued running without any reaction. 

He was feeling even more dread now as he finally arrived at his goal. Hinata didn’t go in from the wide open door immediately since he could hear Kuzuryuu yelling angrily. He was eavesdropping basically.

 

Kuzuryuu was having a bad day. Peko’s and Natsumi’s lives were in danger if the motive was true and he was surrounded by people in a similar situation. Which meant that anyone could back stab anyone.   
Or he could be seeing an idiot laying down in his own blood with a knife stabbed in his own hand! 

”You fucking stabbed yourself?!” Oh he knew that Komaeda did it himself. He saw him do it! Peko saw him do it! Hell Koizumi saw it! And because letting a guy like that keep a knife with him Peko had disarmed him with her shinai swiftly. 

His life had become a shit show and most of it was because of Komaeda. Who might die if he didn’t stop the damn bleeding. 

”Ah Kuzuryuu-kun you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s clear who the culprit is.”, Komaeda said with that ’I am trying to calm you about the wrong thing’ expression. Kuzuryuu cursed even more as he took his suit jacket off and cut the sleeve off with a small pocket knife. ”Yeah well you won’t be escaping this by dying.”, he didn’t give him the chance to respond before he kneeled down and started tying the injured hand tightly.

As long as he could stop it until Tsumiki came it would do. ”Really you shouldn’t ruin your clothes!” He sounded a bit shaky and pained. Kuzuryuu snorted. ”Who cares about that dumbass? Tell me what you were planning to achieve with stabbing yourself?”

So maybe he had figured out the part where it was most likely a suicide plan. And maybe Komaeda was doing it because of the motive. But it still had to come from the guy itself. 

”Well Monokuma clearly said that someone had to die so that none of the threatened people would die. Obviously I am just fulfilling my purpose as a stepping stone for your hope. I just thought that it was better to do it like this.”, Komaeda rambled with an occasionally shaky and weak voice. ”Since I doubt you would care much of my passing.” 

”Because obviously your death would result in hope? Not a chance that we’d feel like shit? No one here would feel hope from your death idiot!” That’s what Komaeda apparently was. An idiot who was way too ready to die. 

”But…”, Kuzuryuu looked at Komaeda and silenced him like that with ease. ”Shut it. Look you’re messed up and you did something that’s hard to forget. Even though I think it would’ve happened eventually but the point is that we’re trying to work with that. And if you go and die just when people are getting there then aren’t you just really running away?” Kuzuryuu breathed in deeply. ”You’re weird and you say weird things and you do shit like this. But apparently that’s just who you are and I signed in for this. So here.”, he offered his hand towards Komaeda. He needed to help him up anyway but this would work. "You’re being offered a friendly hand. So take it!” He wouldn’t push Komaeda if he didn’t. Hell he would be surprised if the guy took it. 

”Do you know how my luck works?” The question was laced with underlying emotion. Something like desperation to push him away perhaps? ”Well yeah. I know it’s a shitty thing. Everyone knows. That’s exactly why I’m offering a hand damn it.”, because if they left him alone then these things would happen.

”I…”, the conflict in Komaeda’s mind was loud and clear on his face. Kuzuryuu almost felt like calling it off but since he was actually considering he might as well see this to the end. ”I do think this is a bad idea.”, Komaeda took Kuzuryuu’s hand weakly. There was no strength behind the action but there was no need for it. 

Kuzuryuu helped him and supported his weight. ”Yet you accepted.”, it was good. They had something to work with in a way. Even if it was born from a literally bloody situation. ”I saw Kuzuryuu-kun’s hope shine brightly. There was no way I could refuse.”, Komaeda smiled at him. At least it was a genuine smile.   
”Heh well Tsumiki should be arriving soon. Koizumi was screaming pretty loudly.”, he should remember to check Peko’s foot later. He wasn’t sure if the sudden movements when the struck Komaeda’s wrist caused any more damage. 

They all winced when they heard Tsumiki scream when she arrived. When she took his place as Komaeda’s support he just simply moved to help Peko while watching Tsumiki treat the wound.

Kuzuryuu waved a bit at Hinata who had moved to stand next to them. He looked surprisingly calm about the whole thing even though he must be feeling pretty surprised. 

Or…not? Kuzuryuu squinted a bit. Yeah he knew that face. A face of someone who heard more than they should. 

Well, he could do something about it later. Right now he was content in staying next to Peko and waiting to be some help to Tsumiki. 

”Young master…you have a kind heart.”, Peko stated with a low voice. If Hinata heard he didn’t show it. Kuzuryuu tilted his head up a bit so he could look at Peko.

The small smile on her voice made him stay silent about the whole young master business. ”Thanks. Not that I agree.”

But he was thankful that she saw him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean who was surprised? Komaeda is probably exactly the "You unlocked level 2 friendship with Komaeda." "Komaeda will now die for you." friend. 
> 
> But here we are. And it only took a knife to the hand. (I mean if you're curious: He was gonna aim somewhere more deadly but he got startled and missed.)
> 
> But this is a bit lackluster I think?


	17. Blue violet Lisianthus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanami and Komaeda talk. Truth has been revealed and the begining of the end is near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for talk about suicide.
> 
> I tried to write it as seriously as I knew but but I do apologize in advance if I treated it wrong. Offending and hurting people is not my intention.

Hinata only felt like relaxing after everyone else had arrived in the beach house after Tsumiki. A small space filled with a noisy bunch of people allowed him to think about the entire situation without worrying about someone calling him out on eavesdropping.   
Komaeda had tried to stab himself. Well he managed to stab himself through his hand but Hinata knew that if they hadn’t searched for him they would’ve found him with a knife in his gut. 

It made his stomach clench at the mental image. Especially because there was no way to deny what this all was. An attempted suicide. And Hinata wasn’t sure why Komaeda would do it. Was it the motive? His luck? Something else? Was this just something Komaeda had planned to do in the back of his mind for a while? 

Hinata wanted to know but he also didn’t. He wasn’t an expert in mental health and he certainly had no experience with these things. 

For now he’d let it be. It might just be that Tsumiki would handle the more delicate parts. 

Even if she really didn’t need the extra stress. And maybe that’s why he chose to go and sit next to Komaeda who was staring at his injured hand with detached interest. So that Tsumiki could sit down for a minute and gather herself. 

”Hello.”, Komaeda didn’t look at him but also didn’t seem to be exactly clear minded at the moment. It might be the blood loss or something. 

”Hi.”, Hinata sighed and leaned against the wall more. Now that he was sitting next to Komaeda he no longer had the anominity of being in the midst of a big group. Since all eyes were on them. 

”I’m sorry.”, it was said with a low voice but it seemed like everyone hear it. Well it was good that he commented on it somehow. 

”Yeah well don’t do it again? I lost a decade of my life there.”, Souda declared with a grin and used his healthy hand to pat Komaeda’s shoulder. Expect that he must’ve used too must strength because Komaeda winced.

Hinata swore he cold hear Tsumiki growl. ”Please don’t hurt my patient more.”, well even if she hadn’t growled the uncharacteristically firm voice was even more scary. Tsumiki must really be done with them getting injured. 

”Hah it seems like the pig has finally oink’ed something that makes sense! Better listen.”, Saionji laughed. Compared to her usual attitude it was almost like a compliment.   
Hinata laughed a bit but it was a stressed laughter instead of a happy one. 

”Anyway should we get going? At least three of us look ready to collapse any minute.”, Souda asked and looked pointedly at Tsumiki, Nanami and Komaeda. Hinata agreed with that mentally. 

”Wait! Before that there is something I must say!” Nidai suddenly yelled, as if he had just realized this. ”Last night I met Komaeda and he told me to tell this to everyone.”  
Hinata could hear Komaeda breath in sharply. And the look on his face was the look of defeat. 

”He told me he has cancer.”, Nidai finished and turned his face towards Komaeda. Hinata let out a small noise of confusion. Cancer? Komaeda has cancer? It made sense? Right he had figured that Komaeda’s health was bad. But he hadn’t…thought about it too deeply. 

”Is it true then?” Koizumi asked sharply with her eyes narrowed. She looked ready to scold Komaeda for who knows what.

Komaeda wasn’t looking at them, instead he was staring at Tsumiki who looked worried in return. ”Yes. Third stage malignant lymphoma. Tsumiki-san I don’t feel so well.”, his explanation was fast and Hinata was certain that if he was capable Komaeda would’ve left or talked his way out. 

”O-oh! Right! It’s better if we get you back to your cottage then.”, Tsumiki seemed to understand her ability to aid Komaeda to escape. ”But I need someone to help…”  
Hinata rose up slowly. ”I can help if that’s okay?” He was mostly asking from Komaeda even though Komaeda didn’t seem to be fully awake anymore. He must’ve been serious about not feeling well then. 

”R-right. It might be better if you carry him..?” Tsumiki was probably picking up the fact that Komaeda wasn’t in any condition to walk at all. Hinata shrugged and shook Komaeda a bit to get his attention.

”Hey I’ll give you a piggy back ride so try to hold on.”, he waited until Komaeda was on his back with the combined effort from Tsumiki and Komaeda himself. Hinata started walking with short and steady steps in order to keep his balance. The others moved away to give him space and he could hear Tsumiki follow him.

It wasn’t as hard as he’d expect but it would still be long walk. 

 

Komaeda groaned a bit. When had he lost consciousness?

”-mi-san you’re fine with staying?” Someone was talking near him. And addressing someone else by the sound of it. He couldn’t hold on to the words the pair was exchanging. The inky darkness was pulling him back under slowly.

 

When he came back to his senses the second time he woke up faster. Komaeda hissed a bit at the sharp stinging on his injured hand. It was just his luck that he had stabbed it through. He would need to be careful with it. Otherwise Tsumiki would finish what he had started. 

”You’re awake?” He could hear a soft voice murmur accompanied by the 8-bit music that coud only come from a gaming console. Which meant that Nanami was in his cottage for some reason. But that didn’t really matter when his hand hurt as much as it did. 

His pain must’ve shown on his face because Nanami put her console away and moved the chair she was sitting on next to his bed. 

”Tsumiki-san left you pain killers. And water but it’s probably warm by now.”, she waited until he probed himself up before giving him the small pill and the cup of water. Komaeda didn’t mind the lukewarm water. It was still refreshing. 

Thankfully the medicine was fast working. Possibly red triangle medicine if Tsumiki wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be able to feel a thing. It made him remember the fact that he probably had a receipt for some of those on his name. Whetever or not he’d be able to access them himself was a different matter. Which brought him to think an entirely different matter.

”Nanami-san…I don’t mean to be rude but why are you here?” Perhaps she was covering for Tsumiki? But Nanami might not be the best person to act as a replacement for a nurse.  
The gamer looked at him with tired, half lidded eyes. 

”Well someone has to stay with you for few days. Tsumiki-san said it’s to make sure you won’t hurt yourself.”, she paused and tilted her head. ”You have to ask someone to give you pain killers. You’re not allowed near pills. Or sharp objects.”

Komaeda swallowed his saliva. His throat was still dry despite the water. It made sense that tsumiki would decide to keep him watched. And if the botched plan didn’t make her do it then Nidai’d sudden announcement of his condition surely made her decide to do this. Well he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Nidai did what he asked him to and Tsumiki was doing her job. Even if he had no plans to ’finish the job’.

They all must think that the motive along with his disease made him do it. Of course it wasn’t fully incorrect. But he did it for hope really. Maybe it was for different kind of hope than he would’ve before coming to the island but it was still hope.

Even though now…he couldn’t deny the small doubt that had born within him when Kuzuryuu told him that they wouldn’t find hope in his death. He was quite sure that Kuzuryuu meant that if he died then even if they and their loved ones were safe there would be no hope in it.

Not that it made sense to him. He was a dead man walking and one life for many more should logically make them feel hope. That’s why he wanted them to know about the lymphoma. The trial would’ve been so easy if they had that as his motive. They could’ve just had an easy trial and…not think badly of him? Yes that was also part of the reason. But it was too late.

”Ah right. I see.”, he had been silent far too long for his liking. Not that Nanami minded much since she was the silent type. 

”Komaeda-kun.”, Nanami’s voice was firm all of a sudden. Komaeda blinked and stared at her straight in her eyes. That was until he had to close them for a second after he started to see weird patterns in her eyes. 

”I’m glad that you’re happier now.”, Nanami’s eyes didn’t move in the slightest. But they were still kind. 

”Alright?” What was he supposed to think about a sudden comment like that? He was…happy? Well he was content with how things were in a way. Even if his luck had messed it all up in the end. But still, why would she tell it to him?

”I think it must’ve been lonely to live like that.”, now she was saying something he understood. Of course he understood what she meant. But why? There was no reason for her to say any of this at all. It sounded way too final to him. 

”Nanami-san I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”, Komaeda almost felt like chasing her away. Because whatever her reason was? He wasn’t sure that he liked it. 

Nanami averted her eyes and smiled. ”It’s nothing. Things just went well so I’m glad.”, the serious moment was gone as fast as it came.

Komaeda hummed. Nanami was being weird but maybe she was just relieved to avoid a trial? Something like that would make anyone say weird thing. Or maybe it was because she was sick. He sighed and pushed his hair away from his eyes. The neat hair was gone again. It wasn’t really tangled but the hair had been undone.

”2.2270410922E+40”, Komaeda moved his head around. He heard a noise? A weird and glitchy noise.

”Did your console break Nanami-san?” That’s what it sounded like actually. The startled look on Nanami’s face made it even more likely. 

”I…guess it did.”, she rose from her seat fast and ran out from he door without another word like something was chasing her.

Komaeda stared at the door as it closed itself with a loud thump. Wasn’t she supposed to look after him so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid? Of course she would want to leave as soon as possible and a console that made her talent possible was important but…it stung?

It was fine. He’d ask her about it later and take whatever answer she provided with a stride. Like always. 

He breathed out deeply and slowly sank back in to the bed. Maybe the pain killers would do him a favor and allow him to fall back asleep. Otherwise he’d be bored. 

 

Monomi was gritting her teeth that didn’t exist. But she was still doing it! The Monobeast in front of her was frozen on place and glitching non-stop.   
”You can’t do it!” She had repeated these words far too many times for her liking within the same conversation. Even if the feeling of despair was not part of her programming, not really she felt desperate. 

”I have to. Time is running out.”, the determination in her voice made Monomi feel a twinge of pain. Yes she knew that it was true but…she was her friend.

”We can wait! A safer option will come if we can just buy more time.”, she was fighting a battle she would lose but she had to try. It was her hope.

”No..if I do this now then they have a chance. I believe in them. They can overcome what she throws in their way. Because they’re together.”, she reached her arm towards Monomi slowly, only for the fingers to pixilated in the air.

Monomi’s ears drooped. The evidence was in front of her. And she knew for a fact that somewhere she was watching them and laughing. Because they had no solid plan. It was all about placing their trust and hoping for them to overcome the challenges. 

Her companion seemed to sense Monomi’s defeat because she kneeled in front of her and hugged her like the stuffed toy that she was.

”I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is day late and my only excuse is: I was playing and searching for the people who I teamed with in Overwatch. Since they actually used the voice chat. 
> 
> Things are nearing the end.
> 
> / I might not update withing the next 1-3 weeks since I'm going to be pretty busy. I'll try to of course.


End file.
